Slither Along
by HPFan99999
Summary: Harry grew up deprived as a child, and the day before his Hogwarts letter comes, he figures out that he has a power over his relatives. Watch as a smarter and less trusting Harry takes over the world. Slytherin Harry! Neville BWL! (on hiatus)
1. Chapter 1

"Wake up boy" a disgruntled high-pitched feminine voice said to the youngest member of the house. "It's our Dudley's birthday, and I want everything to be perfect."

"Yes Aunt Petunia," the boy replied. He dusted off his slightly broken glasses before forcibly sliding them on his face. The glasses were made for him when he was 8, and they did not fit him anymore. He opened the door to face another day of fresh hell.

"Boy" another rusty sounding voice yelled out to him. When he was four, he thought that his name was boy, because he was only ever referred to as boy or freak, and he knew that freak could not be a name. He only finally figured out his name on the first day of kindergarten, when the teacher called out the name Harry Potter. Harry's thoughts were interrupted by the return of the harsh grating voice. "Boy, I want the breakfast done right this time. Dudley's birthday is today, and nothing is going to go wrong. DO YOU UNDERSTAND." he yelled.

"Yes Uncle Vernon," Harry said, showing no emotion on his face. Inwardly, though, he smirked. Dudley always got large and extravagant gifts for his birthday, gifts that were worth a lot of money. And for some reason or another- cough cough- these gifts never made it past the first week. The blame could never be traced back to Harry, as he always had airtight alibies. With a heart full of pride, Harry moved to the kitchen to cook the breakfast. "Let's see" he inwardly mused. "Standard pancakes for Dudley, coated with copious amounts of sugar to give him that extra kick he needs for the day, until he gets a sugar crash. That should make his birthday a bit more exciting. For Vernon, How about a bit of scrambled eggs, mixed with ickle Diddlykin's special protein powder that makes everything taste so good. And for Petunia, a fair bit of bacon should do the trick, coated vigorously with butter so that she can lose that extra pound. Coming right up." He once again inwardly smirked as he proceeded to ruin everyone's breakfast. He had been the reason that every once in a while, Dudley would have a major headache in class right after not being able to sit straight, Petunia would gain and lose weight erratically, and Vernon would go to work in a terrible mood. It was a form of revenge that he had developed over the years for all of the trouble he had to go through.

BAM BAM BAM. It seemed that Dudley had woken up and then proceeded to jump on the fifth stair repeatedly, the stair right above the cupboard in which young Harry lived in. Harry once again inwardly smirked. It would seem that he would be able to find another source of revenge. Harry noticed at a very young age that his guardians would not treat him fairly, and, inspired by Roald Dahl's Matilda, a book that he borrowed from the school library, he resolved to add the Potter criminal justice system to the Dursley household. Harry resolved that the stair that Dudley pounded on would soon crash under Dudley's weight, and he would be stuck in a very tight situation. Dudley proceeded to stomp down the rest of the stairs and haughtily walked into the kitchen of the Dursley residence. He sat down and greedily gobbled up the pancake that Harry had finished making with a large amount of maple syrup. Harry then proceeded to serve Petunia and Vernon their meals, inwardly laughing at Vernon grimacing at the taste of his eggs, and Petunia eating the bacon readily, not knowing that it was full of butter. Harry, of course, was not allowed to eat "normal people food", and was instead subject to eating a piece of stale bread or two. When Dudley was finished with his meal, he proceeded to inspect the bevy of presents at his feet.

"37! I got 38 last year." Harry again inwardly smirked. "But how many lasted longer than two weeks?" he thought with a grin.

"Calm down Dudders. How about we go to the zoo, and I'll buy you two more presents there. How does that sound pumpkin?" Petunia simpered. Apparently appeased by this, Dudley once again became the hog he was, and proceeded to unwrap the plethora of gifts he received. "Oh cool. I got boxing gloves. Hey freak, wanna fight," Dudley said. Harry sighed. "Not this again." Recently, Dudley had been taking an interest in boxing, and he would force Harry to fight him. The first time, Harry easily predicted Dudley's moves, and gave him a bloody nose. That turned into a beating by Vernon with a fire poker. So now, whenever Dudley wanted to fight, he would only dodge and never fight back. He walked over to Dudley who had put on the boxing gloves. Apparently, it had not registered to Dudley that hits hurt less with the gloves than without them, and he was actually putting himself at a disadvantage. Harry sidestepped an overly obvious punch, ducked under a hook, stepped back from an uppercut, and mived his head from the path of another punch. It really was very easy to fight Dudley. Although if he landed a hit, it would hurt badly due to his high weight, Dudley could never land a hit on Harry because his moves were very predictable, and he usually tired himself out. At the end of their boxing match, Dudley did not touch Harry once, and was visibly weezing from effort as he told Harry "Screw you, I win." Petunia clapped as Vernon pat his son on the back for a job well done. Dudley flushed with pride.

"We should get going. Boy, go to that cat person's house." Petunia said as she picked up the phone to call Ms. Figgs.

"Yes Aunt Petunia," Harry replied as he walked over to Ms. Figg's house. Ms. Figg was fun to mess with, and she left many valuables lying around the house. These valuables usually found their way into the stash. The stash was Harry's secret collection of the stuff he stole. He had a contact, a boy named Jeremy, who would sell his stuff to outsiders at a ten percent fee. This money fed Harry and gave him toys and entrertainment, so that instead of looking malnourished, Harry looked quite respectable for a boy his age- handsome even. Of course, he could not use his toys in his house for fear of Vernon or Petunia catching him, but he could still play with them at times.

Aunt Petunia slammed the phone down. "Change of plans. One of Ms. Figg's cat is sick." The front door opened as a rat-looking boy walked into the house. Piers Polkiss, neighborhood menace casually strolled into the house with Dudley following soon after. Apparently, Dudley had run off to find his best friend to take him to the zoo.

"Freak, you're coming with us too," Vernon said. Harry shrugged. While he would have preferred to go to Figg's house and taken a few things that caught his eye, he had never been to a zoo before, and he wanted to go to see what it was like. He was about to leave with the others when Vernon had brought him back, saying "Freak, no funny business."

"Ah yes," Harry though. His accomplice in crime was his 'funny business'. Whenever he was almost caught, his 'funny business', for lack of a better phrase, would act up. With it, he was capable of traveling anywhere he wanted to go in a second. He slowly gained conscious control over his traveling method. He called it teleportation, and he used it frequently. He frequented many stores with a mask over his face, and took whatever he wanted then teleported out. He did not care if it was stealing, as his conscience disappeared when he turned 5. He did not have the luxury to consider morals, or right and wrong. He just needed to survive, a hard task with all the beatings that he went through. But even then, his 'funny business' healed him up very quickly, leaving him ready to go the next day. Eventually, he obtained mental control over his pain senses, and when he knew that he was going to have a beating, he retreated to a corner of his mind so that he could numb the pain. It did not fully work, but it was better than nothing.

"Of course, Uncle Vernon," Harry replied.

"Good" Vernon said.

Harry walked out of the house and into the large car that the Dursleys owned, excited by what the trip to the zoo would hold for him.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: The entire plot line has been shifted 14 years later, so Harry's first year will be in 2005.**

**Slither Along Chapter 2: Changes from the norm**

In retrospect, Harry thought he had a pretty good time at the zoo. He got to see the monkeys, who were screeching away, and although he was extremely mature, even he could not help but laugh at the monkeys' antics. The lions and giraffes seemed fairly interesting too. But, when Harry got to the reptile house, all hell broke loose.

Harry walked through the reptile house, calmly, for he did not ever run, but even he was excited. As a child, snakes had always been his favorite animal. Unfortunately, he had only ever seen a snake once in real life, and it was a common garden snake. He skipped past the lizards, turtles, and the few tanks of huge alligators, and stopped when he saw the snakes. And the snakes were beautiful. He walked past each one, and each one turned its head to look at him. He was so excited that he did not see Dudley creep behind him.

"Look mum look!" Dudley shouted. "Look at what Harry is making the snake do." Dudley shoved Harry to the ground, and Harry felt an intense burning hatred towards Dudley. He shed his gaze on Dudley, and suddenly Dudley shivered. He walked over to Dudley and slowly stared deep into Dudley's eyes. Dudley soon passed out from the pain.

Harry was confused. His funny business had never done this before. Well, he did hate Dudley a lot. He shrugged. He really didn't care. Of course, then Vernon came over there.

"Boy, what did you do," Vernon shouted.

Harry shivered. He had to act scared, and sound like he didn't know he did it. "N-nothing, Uncle Vernon, I swear." he said. Just then, Dudley was getting up.

"Freak, what did you do?" Dudley shrieked.

"Nothing." Harry said. Wait. He felt a sufficient feeling of anger. Could he bring up his pain-gaze again. "Not. A. Damn. Thing," he said, accenting each word. Soon Vernon, Petunia, and Dudley were all writhing under his glare. Fortunately for him, Piers was off stuffing his face with whatever lunch he bought, and the reptile house was empty except for Harry, Dudley, Vernon, and Petunia. "Hmm," Harry inwardly mused. "It seems that my angry gaze now can torture people. Interesting. I wonder if I can control that."

He tore his gaze from the three of them, and said "Come on. Take me home."

The three didn't dare to do anything to Harry after experiencing his torture gaze. He walked out of the zoo, followed by an extremely confused Piers Polkiss, and the extremely angry Dursleys. The Dursleys, however, experienced a presence of mind that they did not normally have. Harry smirked. He now had the Dursleys in his pocket. They drove home, dropped Piers off, and strode in the house. More than once, they turned to yell at Harry, but found that his gaze gave them more pain then they could ever imagine. They walked inside the house, and Harry sat down on one of the couches.

"I am calling a family meeting," Harry said. The three quickly followed him into the living room, not willing to upset him.

"Now, you three are the worst pigs to ever have lived," Harry said. "However, it would look bad if I killed you. So I won't." Harry said. Dudley likely would have interrupted at this point, but the birthday boy had experienced far too many pain shocks to know not to mess with Harry. He did not understand what was going on, but he was more cowardly then he was stupid, and once he realized that Harry could control how much pain he felt, he immediately stopped talking. "So, I will not kill you. In addition, you three will all share the cupboard under the stairs, and you will also give me the money needed to purchase food, clothing, and drinks. I think that 500 pounds per week should suffice." Vernon made an audible shriek at this price, but was silenced by Harry's glare. "I will live in the master bedroom, until I move out. You three will be treated how you treated me for the 9 years that I have lived with you. And if you object to any of my demands, you will be pain-gazed."

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The meeting had gone fairly well. Harry was incredibly pleased with the outcome: the Dursleys were under his thumb. Any protests that had occured during the first week were quickly silenced with pain-gazes, a term that Harry now gave his angry gaze. Harry had been practicing, and found that he did not need to be angry to use his pain-gaze. He just needed to be sufficiently angry, an emotion he found to be able to readily bring up. The pain-gaze seemed like it would change his life for the better.

The next day, Harry walked down the stairs and poured himself a cup of coffee. The cupboard under the stairs was extremely cramped, with barely any space for two normal size beds, let alone the large size beds needed for Vernon and Dudley. He walked to the door, and picked up the post. He thumbed through the letters, and stopped cold when he saw the last letter. A letter was addressed to him. He never got letters. His deduction was running rampant. "OK," he sighed to himself. "No one that I know personally would want to write to me." he thought. "None of the Dursley's associates would want to write to me. That only leaves one option. This has something to do with my parents. I mean, it was about time. They must have had some friends, even if they were drunkards. But the letter says Master Bedroom. How would they know where exactly I live? Hmm."

He turned the letter over. "What the hell is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," he thought. "Wait. Could this funny business be witchcraft? Am I a witch? And what the hell is wizardry?"

He opened the letter and read it fully. It read

HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY  
Headmaster: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE (Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)  
Dear Mr. Potter,  
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You will find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.  
Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.  
Yours sincerely,  
Minerva McGonagall,  
Deputy Headmistress

"Hmm," he sighed to himself. "It is currently July 14th. This letter was fairly unspecific, but assuming that it is not some elaborate prank, which it probably would not be, judging that I have never told anyone about my funny business, or is it called witchcraft, no one knows that I am a witch. So, apparently, some school is offering an invitation. How would they know that I am a witch? This letter was fairly unspecific, and they seem to not even care about informing me about witchcraft." he thought to himself. He shrugged. He picked up the following piece of paper. He glanced over it. It seemed that he would have to get some random crap if he wanted to go to Hogwarts. It was either an elaborate prank, or the truth. It seemed that his funny business was not unique. It said to go to Diagon Alley to get this crap. Well, at least that was an address. He would have to find out more about witches before accepting this invitation. First, however, he would have to find out where the hell Diagon Alley was.

He walked outside, and saw an owl staring at him. It seemed to be expecting something, for owls did not just wait for random reasons. This owl was probably waiting for some kind of a response. It was obviously the creature that sent the letter. He shoo'd the bird away.

"Now," he said to himself. "Let me reflect on this interesting development of my life. I need to somehow get to this Diagon Alley place to find out more about witches. Then I need to figure out if I am a witch or a wizard. I think that I am a witch, but I do not know the difference. It seems that the people who are delivering this letter have no common sense. I mean, I'm sure that they have some secrecy laws in place, or the public would know about witches and wizards. So then why do they just go and deliver these letters to random people without actually sending anyone there to help them. Anyways, how the hell am I going to get my stuff if I have no clue where the hell Diagon Alley is? Answer: the internet."

He opened his new laptop, one of Dudley's presents from Vernon, and sat down on his desk. Intrigued at what would show up, he searched Diagon Alley onto his computer. Immediately, detailed instructions followed on how to get there from London. It said that a Muggle-born, whatever the hell a muggle-born was, made the site, and that any non-magical would forget it soon after reading it.

"Interesting," he murmured to himself. "So I can get to Diagon Alley through London. Well, no time like the present." he said as he teleported himself to London, outside a pub with the address that was listed.

"The leaky cauldron?" he thought. "Why the hell would these witches and wizards name a pub the leaky cauldron and then place it in the Muggle world. I mean, I'm assuming that a cauldron has something to do with witchcraft and wizardry since it is on my shopping list." He walked into the pub.

"Hello," he said to the barkeep. "I'm not sure what this whole witch and wizard thing is, but are you a witch?" he asked. The man looked terribly insulted and affronted.

"No. I am a wizard." he replied.

"What's the difference," Harry asked.

"Ah, you must be a Muggle-born. Witches are female and wizards are male. I'm Tom by the way." he said.

"Oh." Harry replied. "So anyways, do you know where Diagon Alley is? Can you take me there? By the way, I'm Harry, Harry Potter."

"Then you're obviously not a Muggle-born. Your parents were very rich, and they probably left you very well off." he said. "I will get you to Diagon Alley, and you can then do your shopping there," he said. They walked over to an alley and Tom tapped a bunch of bricks with his wand. Suddenly, the whole wall collapsed in on itself, and they made their way to Diagon Alley.

"You know," Harry said. "That's a terribly inefficient system."

"Yes, that's why most people floo here." Tom replied.

"Floo? What's floo?" Harry asked.

"I would recommend that you go read 'So you just became a wizard'. It was written by a Muggle-born, and explains the wizarding world fairly well. Now, I have to go back to the pub. Good luck," Tom said.

Harry walked to the building at the center named Gringotts, because he had nowhere else to go. Immediately, he was shocked to see rows of humanoid people with longer than normal ears and shorter than normal bodies. From Harry's broad knowledge of literature, he thought that they were either dwarfs, elves, goblins, or leprechauns, although the last was highly unlikely. He walked into the building, and went up to one of the tellers. He had deduced that it was a bank.

"Hello," he said.

"Hello. What is your business here." the teller awkwardly said.

"I would like a statement of all my assets here," Harry replied. That guy, Tom, said that his parents left him well off, so he probably should have checked his assets before changing his Muggle money to whatever currency was used here.

"I will need a drop of your blood." the goblin monotonously said. He handed Harry a needle and a bowl, who then pricked his index finger and let a drop fall in the bowl. He handed the bowl back to the goblin.

"Let's see," the goblin said. He read from a piece of parchment. "Harry James Potter, heir to the Potter and Slytherin fortune, will receive his full inheritance at age of majority and will receive a trust vault to be refilled from his vault once per year at a value of 50,000 galleons. His monetary assets are estimated to be at 500 million galleons, and his liquid assets are at 100 million galleons. 20 million galleons is currently held in the Potter vault, 20 million galleons is currently held in the Slytherin vault, and 60 million galleons is currently held in the Potter interest vault. The interest rate cancels out the cost of upkeep." The goblin still managed to look uninterested.

"What is a galleon," Harry said.

"A galleon is a coin made of gold that wizards use for monetary transfer." the goblin surlily replied.

"So how much is a galleon worth. In pounds, I mean," Harry said.

"The estimated transfer from galleons to pounds would currently be that 1 galleon is equal to 5 pounds." the goblin replied.

"But you said that a galleon is a coin made from gold. Is the gold pure?" Harry asked.

"Obviously," the goblin said.

Harry bit his tongue. He couldn't give the goblins knowledge of his thinking. An ounce of gold was worth about 500 pounds, and he did not want to tell the goblins that he knew of a way to bankrupt their bank in case he ever actually needed the money. Instead, he just said "Is there any sort of way I can carry my money with me without having to physically carry it."

"There is. However, it costs 100 galleons." the goblin replied. "It is a bag permanently enchanted to withdraw however much money you want from your trust vault, that is, once we set it up to your trust vault." He handed a small pouch to Harry and said "Call out 100 galleons as payment for the bag. It will recognize you as the owner of the voice, and will transfer money from your trust vault."

"100 galleons," Harry said. It looked like nothing happened. Harry opened the bag, and withdrew 100 galleons from the bag. It seemed like the bag was like a bottomless pit. He gave the money to the goblin, who looked it over appreciatively, then gave the bag back to Harry. Harry left the bank eager to find out more about the wizarding world.

He walked into the bookstore, Flourish and Blotts, eager to find out more about the wizarding world, and to buy the book 'So you just became a wizard'.

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5 hours later, and 5000 galleons lighter, Harry had just finished all of his school shopping, plus many unrequired books, and minus a wand. He had finished reading 'So you just became a wizard' and laughed at the stupidity of wizards and witches. Although the book was very informative, it was also very humorous and satirically referred to witches and wizards as gods over muggles, who were just filthy humans. He then bought books on many topics he found interesting. He bought all seven years of Hogwarts material, confident that he could do it in one to two years. He then bought a few other books on Occlumency, Legimency, and others. He realized that his "pain-gaze" did not actually bring pain. Rather, it forced the victim to relive his most painful memories over and over and over again. The sheer agony was that the loop never stopped, and they were never in control. It also seemed that he was a natural Legimens. His Occlumency, however, needed work, as he figured that if any Legimens were to attempt to read his mind, they would be able to easily. He also noted that most of the magical schools completely ignored Muggle math and science, and the hardest math offered in Hogwarts was simple geometry in arithmancy. He already had a working knowledge of Calculus, Physics, Chemistry, and Biology, as he had an eidetic memory and remembered everything he read. He resolved to use his advantage against others by merging his muggle and magical training.

Harry had already bought all of his materials needed for Hogwarts. In addition, he decided to buy a magical trunk. It sold for 100 galleons, and it seemed very useful. It held a private library, where Harry could store his books. It also had a room with a bed, in which Harry could sleep. It was charmed to only open to him, and he really liked the trunk. After putting his large stack of books into his trunk, he walked over to the wand shop, Ollivanders, and went to get himself a wand.

"Ah, Mr. Potter. I've been expecting you," Ollivander said.

"How do you know my name?" Harry asked, curious.

"There is a piece of tape on your shirt with your name on it." Ollivander said with a smirk.

"Fair enough," Harry said, and pulled it off. That tape was from one of his robes. He had a personal hatred for the way wizards dressed. They wore robes. ROBES. How could anyone expect to be taken seriously in a robe. However, it was required for his stay at Hogwarts, so he decided to get it anyways.

"So, you need a wand," Ollivander said. Harry gazed upon the wand shop. Tens of thousands of wands were lined up in their boxes, all brand new.

"How do you make these? How long does it take you to make them?" Harry asked.

"I usually make them in bulk. I get the cores, that are at the center of the wand, first. Then, I find a wood that should surround them, for wood conducts magic. After that, I cut it off at a certain length depending on the size of the core, and then I'm done." he said.

"Hang on. You don't honestly expect me to try out 10,000 wands." Harry said.

"No, no, my dear boy, no." Ollivander said. "I will find you a wand that matches you."

"So there can be more than one wand that will match me, correct," Harry said.

"But of course," Ollivander said. "There are limitless possibilities with wands, so the amount of wands that will match you is limitless. In this shop alone, I bet that at least 100 will match to you."

"So, which one will match me best?" Harry asked.

"There is no match me best," Ollivander explained. "It either matches you or it doesn't. You'll find, however, that all wands have their strengths and weaknesses."

"Interesting," Harry said. "So, if I asked for two wands, I could buy two wands."

"Yes," Ollivander said.

"Okay, I would like 2 wands, please," Harry said.

"Hold on," Ollivander said. "Before I make people try any wands, I always expose them to the two ancient wands, the two wands that were crafted by Merlin himself. It is said that each one can match the elder wand. No one knows what wood or what core was used in each of them. It is also said that if you match with one, you match with all. So, are you willing to try?"

"Yes," Harry said.

"Okay. Now, I will open the box. If it matches to you, which I have a strong suspicion it will, I will pass them on to you." he said. He opened the box of the two ancient wands. Immediately, both flew out of the box and into Harry's outstretched palms. Harry immediately felt a deep sense of contentment, as if all was right in the world. He studied the two wands. The left was pure white, and the right was pure black. They were both of even length, and both felt perfect where they were.

"I think that it is safe to say that we can expect great things from you, Mr. Potter," Ollivander said. "These wands cannot be broken. I have tried snapping them in outrage when no one would call them. Use them well."

"What about the price?" Harry asked.

"I never crafted these wands. It would not be fair if I received money for them," Ollivander said.

"Ah," Harry responded. "Well, I need cases for both wands, and two wand holsters."

"Two wand holsters," Ollivander said. "You are ambidextrous"

"Yes," Harry responded. In truth, he was only ambidextrous because his right arm was broken so many times that he had learned to be dependent on both arms. He grimaced. The Dursleys would pay.

"Very well then." He proceeded to procure the items that Harry requested.

"Oh, and also, I was wondering, do you know how my parents died," Harry said. He had figured out a long time ago that the crazy car crash story that the Dursleys told him was not true.

"Ah, yes. A sad loss of two distinguished individuals. Lily and James Potter died two days after Neville Longbottom defeated the Dark Lord. They were killed by a hoard of fifty death eaters seeking revenge, and they managed to kill every one with their death. They cast a combined curse to cause their bodies to explode, forcing every death eater within a certain radius to vaporize. Truly honorable, even in their death."

"Interesting," Harry said. "So who is Neville Longbottom? Who is the Dark Lord?"

"You must understand, Mr. Potter, that 10 years ago, the Dark Lord, named Voldemort, who some foolishly refer to as you-know-who, was at the height of his powers. Then, he tried to attack Neville Longbottom, and somehow died in the process. I do not know the specifics of it, but it is rumored that Neville's mother, who was killed by the Dark Lord right before, did some kind of ritual to protect Neville. He is an orphan." he said.

"Very interesting," Harry remarked. "Well, I'd best be off. Things to do, you know."

"Of course," Ollivander replied. "That will be 4 galleons, 12 sickles, and 2 knuts for the cases and holsters.

"Sure," Harry replied. He drew 5 galleons from his bag, and told Ollivander to keep the change. He calmly and proudly walked out with his trunk rolling on the floor behind him.

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BAM! BAM! BAM!

The Dursleys woke up with a start from the cupboard under the stairs, but did not dare to get up. Harry to woke up from the master bedroom. "Huh," Harry noted. "It is 12:00 on July 31. It's my birthday. Who could be pounding at the door?"

He drew both his wands and kept them out as he slowly crept down the stairs. With a resounding thud, the door fell down, and Harry saw the largest man he had ever seen in his life. "No doubt a giant," Harry said with a smirk.

"Ah, 'ello Harry. The name's Hagrid. Rubeus Hagrid. Keeper of the keys at Hogwarts." Hagrid said.

"You're breaking and entering." Harry replied. "Did you think of trying the doorbell or knocking at the very least? And what the hell are you doing at 12:00 midnight? I was sleeping peacefully."

"Yer a wizard Harry," Hagrid said, apparently disregarding anything Harry had previously said.

"I know that. I got the letter." Harry replied.

"But you completely believed it? You didn't think it was a prank?" Hagrid said.

"No. I think that when I visited Diagon Alley, I was able to figure it out." Harry replied.

"How did you get to Diagon Alley?" Hagrid said.

"I went to the Leaky Cauldron, and Tom allowed me in." Harry said. "Now what are you doing here. I can have you charged with breaking and entering the household of the most noble house of Potter, which would create a blood feud between the house of Potter and the house of Hagrid. With my political power, I could get you sent to Azkaban for the rest of your life. So I suggest you start answering my questions immediately. Why are you here?" Harry had spent a lot of time going over wizarding law, because he wanted to know the legalities of some of the things he was planning to do.

"Why to give you your birthday present of course," Hagrid said.

"So you broke into my house to give me my birthday present. My my, Hagrid, your case does not look very good," Harry said. "No, I think that Dumbledore, my magical guardian who has failed to show up throughout my entire life and has left me with those animals that you would call the Dursleys, sent you here." Harry had researched and had found out that a law was passed soon after the fall of Voldemort that said that anyone who did not have a magical guardian by will or direct blood (i.e. parents, siblings over 17, grandparents, and great-grandparents) who was signed up to go to Hogwarts would be assigned one by the headmaster of Hogwarts. He then found out that Albus Dumbledore had assigned himself to be his magical guardian. However, fortunately, Dumbledore did not have access to his vaults. Fortunately, as the goblins informed him, Dumbledore had the key, but without blood identification, they would not let Dumbledore in. Harry would have just gone to another school, or not even gone to a school in the first place, but Dumbledore would no doubt have forced him to go. He inwardly smirked. Hogwarts regarded itself as the best magical school in Europe, when it was almost the worst. It was the only magical school in England, and from what he had heard, the potions instructor was a Death Eater who had apparently changed for the better, but was against anyone who was not a Slytherin, the transfiguration professor was against anyone who was a Slytherin and favored the Gryffindors, and the Slytherins were ostracized by the rest of the school, minus the Ravenclaws, for being "dark wizards. Personally, he found Slytherin to be the best house. It was for the cunning and the ambitious, and while Ravenclaw came in close second, the other two seemed extremely stupid. He would have much rather gone to the Paris Academy of Magic. It was a lesser known school, but it actually taught Muggle Sciences and math.

"How do you know about Dumbledore." Hagrid said.

"Answer my question. Did Dumbledore send you here?" he asked.

"Yes. Great man, Dumbledore. Great man." Hagrid said.

"Okay, I think that I have heard enough," Harry said. "Do not provoke me or Azkaban awaits you. Stay out of my way. Or else." Harry said menancingly. Immediately a shiver went down Hagrid's spine. Dumbledore had ordered him to go to Harry and explain their world to him, but he hadn't been expecting this. Dumbledore was going to be shocked. Hagrid stumbled out of the door as Harry stared at him. Once he was gone, Harry left Hagrid to go his own way, and he went back to a peaceful sleep.

=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=ONE MONTH LATER=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=

The last month at the Dursley residence consisted of Harry mastering his first year spells, for Ollivander could never have put the trace on the Ancient wands and learning Occlumency, which he was gaining remarkable proficiency in, and he felt confident that now if someone tried to read his mind, he could block them for one minute. He projected the illusion of a computer system which you had to enter a password to get in or hack it. The good thing was that he didn't need to actually know any code; it just executed his will. His memories were stored as files onto the computer. He was actually able to use this illusion himself to relive certain memories. However, the illusion was just that, an illusion. It wasn't the actual place where the memories were stored; rather, it was a place which could reference to the memories, a relay system. He set the password to his exact memory so that only he could enter. If someone were able to circumvent the illusion or destroy it, they could read his mind. The interesting thing with Legimency was that, although it was much stronger when you gazed into your opponent's eyes, Harry found that he could gleam thoughts by just looking at someone and focusing on what they were thinking. The other interesting thing with Legimency was that his memory was eidetic, so if he could find someone good at magic who had no Occlumency training, he could copy their memories and use them. All he had to do in Hogwarts was copy the Head Boy and Head Girl's memories, and he would be set for seven years. Of course, he would only focus on magic memories. Harry had created a system of organizing his own memories, and found out, by doing it on the Dursleys, that if he spent 10 minutes in another person's mind or more, he could sort through all of their memories and organize them into the right place. Then, he could port them to his own mind. If he was stealthy enough, his foe would not even know that he was doing it. Of course, Harry also gave them a blessing too. With the memory organization that he gave them, they would be able to retain 95 percent of what they read almost immediately.

In addition, he was going over a bit of physics with spell theory. He was currently considering why a jet of light was released every time you cast a spell. His current hypothesis was that magic excites the air around it, which thus releases a photons every time you use magic. He tested his theory by casting a spell in a vacuum, and found that no light was released. This was very interesting to Harry. It meant that, if he could somehow find some way to supercharge spells, they would emit a higher frequency of light, thus making his spells invisible. He was currently prototyping dual casting. He was already able to silently cast spells, so he got two spells to coincide. It worked, but it did not solve his problem. Instead of being ultraviolet, most spells were normally red, and therefore just turned orange. He noted that some spells were infared, but none were ultraviolet. The highest frequency spell that he had found was the killing curse, but even that was only green, and two greens combined would only create a blue. Dual casting, it seemed, only doubled the frequency of a spell, thus forcing him to find another solution. However, he had probably made more advances in spell research in one month than others had done in years.

He had also figured out how magic interrelates with the four fundamental forces: gravity, electromagnetism, the strong nuclear force, and the weak nuclear force. Magic seemed like a check on all four forces, meaning that it could stop the force and reverse the force too. For example, Wingadium Leviosa stopped gravity. However, to stop the other three forces took a lot more energy than gravity, and he was not there yet.

With his mind caught up in his research, Harry transported himself to King's Cross -to a King's Cross bathroom to be specific- and he made his way to the train station. He knew that he had to go to King's Cross because it was on the same website that the Diagon Alley information was on. It seemed that the Hogwarts staff, in the 1800's, wanted to show more acceptance to Muggle-born students, so they built an elaborate train that worked on magic to take students to Hogwarts. Harry laughed at the stupidity of the situation. If you are going to use magical transportation, why would you make the train ride take 6 hours to complete. He walked through the barrier an hour early, and proceeded to board the train. He locked the compartment with both magical and muggle means, and then proceeded to take a nap before going to school. He was excited for Hogwarts, if only because it was his turn to put those fools otherwise known as wizards and witches in their place.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I don't like stories where the boy who lived sucks at magic. Neville has been trained by Dumbledore all his life, and is therefore at the level of an average fourth year.**

**Chapter 3: Train Rides and Sorting**

**BAM BAM BAM **"Goddamit, why won't this door open," were the words Harry was assaulted with when he finally woke up. It was an hour later, and the train was just about to leave.

"Have you tried 'Alohamora'," a prissy first year, by the sound of her voice, said. "Allow me. Alohamora." The spell hit the compartment and reflected, hitting the girl in the chest. "Oof," she doubled over in pain.

The other girl sighed, and healed the first girl back up. "Look, I appreciate your knowledge and all, but did you really think that I hadn't tried a first year spell." she said.

"Hmmph." the other voice replied. Even in his just-woken-up state, Harry was immediately alert. He charmed his voice to sound lower than it normally was. Without opening the door, he said, "Can I help you,"

"Yeah, get out of my compartment," the gruff voice replied.

"I'm sorry," Harry said.

"You are currently in the Head Boy and Head Girl train compartment. Get out." she said.

"I got here first. Besides, the train is about to leave. If I left now, I would have to find another compartment and sit with losers I don't know. So no. I don't think I will get out." Harry retorted.

"You're breaking the rules," the first year girl shouted. "In Hogwarts A History it says-"

"I really don't care," Harry said from inside the compartment. "If you want to get in here, you're free to try."

"Why you little-" the girl said before another voice sounded from outside the compartment. "What is going on here, Tonks," the male voice said.

"This little bitch won't let me into the head boy and head girl compartment." she replied.

"So. Who cares if he won't let you. Just use Alohamora." he replied. Harry heard a small pitter-patter of footsteps, and he assumed that the annoying girl left, probably to go call a teacher or something.

"I tried. Hey, you're good with wards, right," she said. "I tried a blasting curse too, but it just reflected itself back at me. Do you know any ward that does that?"

"Only one," he replied. "No one really knows how it works, though, and it takes a lot of magical energy to set up."

"I didn't use a ward," Harry piped up. "That'll be your first clue."

"If you didn't use a ward, then why are we having this problem." Tonks replied.

"I don't know," Harry replied cheekily. "Why are you having this problem." It was actually quite simple how he did it. Magic was a very high powered form of energy, but it was reflectable, much like light could be reflected by a mirror. Only one substance that he knew of, however, could reflect magic, and that was a Phoenix tear. The good thing about Phoenix tears' reflective properties was that as long as it was in contact with a substance, that substance would reflect magic for 8-12 hours. The bad thing about Phoenix tears was that once used, a Phoenix tear could not be applied on a surface again within an hour. When setting up his wards, Harry had carefully and delicately put a drop from a vial of Phoenix tears that he had acquired at the apothecary on the door, and spread it out with a brush. He had acquired the vial at an Apothecary after he found out its properties. It was really an accident that he found out its reflective properties; he had bought it because he knew of its antitoxic properties.

"Alright brat, well you have to come out sometime," Tonks yelled.

"Calm down," the male said. "The only possible way he is reflecting these spells is if he somehow found out about the Yalice ward. However, it draws from his own magical power to reflect these spells. All we have to do is bombard it with spells until he breaks. Be careful though. The spells will be reflected right back at you. Use harmless spells. How old did you say he was?"

"I dunno. I never saw him." Tonks said.

"11" Harry replied from back in the compartment. His plan was to have the head boy and head girl fear him. He could just teleport out after the train ride, but leave them with the knowledge that they lost to a student they couldn't identify. It seemed that the head boy knew of the Yalice ward, which would make his job even easier.

"Okay, well, I'll get the prick out, Charlie." She proceeded to cast a Stupefy at an angle in which it would hit the wall when it reflected. The light reflected after it hit the wall.

"Hmm. It seems like you have to keep going," Charlie said. "I can help you, Tonks."

"Stupid wizards," Harry smirked inwardly. This ride was proving to be quite entertaining.

The boy and the girl cast Stupefies at high end angles, to no avail for a full minute, until a very annoying and rude voice sounded from behind them. "I'm Neville Longbottom," Neville said. "Why are you all so loud?"

"You're Neville Longbottom," Charlie said.

"The boy who lived," Tonks said.

This piqued Harry's interest. That boy held a large amount of political power, and an even larger amount of social power. If he could befriend the boy who lived, he would gain immense power.

"Yes, that's me. Trained by Dumbledore himself," the boy puffed proudly. Harry grimaced. This would not turn out good. Trained by Dumbledore himself were the words he last wanted to here. "Now, why are you making so much noise. I was having a good time on this train until you showed up."

"Wow, it's so good to meet you" Charlie exclaimed. "I'm Charlie and this is Tonks. We're the head boy and head girl."

"Really," Neville said. "Then why aren't you in the head students' compartment. You're clearly not head boy and head girl. I know that I'm going to be the head boy when I'm a seventh year."

"Yeah," Harry piped up. "If you keep sucking up to Dumbledore, of course you would be head boy. I mean, it's not like he actually checks important things like grades or sociability." The three listening flushed.

"Are you calling me a suck up?" Charlie said.

"I really don't know you yet, so I wouldn't know," Harry said.

"You take that back right now. I challenge you to a wizard's duel." Neville screamed.

"No thanks. In case you didn't realize, my identity is a secret. I do not think that dueling the boy-who-lived-to-be-a-giant-pain-in-the-ass would bode well for my secrecy."

"Why you," Neville shouted. "Bombarda," he said.

Harry sighed at Neville's stupidity as the curse got reflected and hit Charlie in the stomach, causing him to crash into the compartment behind them. Harry smirked as Charlie groggily got up and shook off all the dirt on his clothes.

"What is the meaning of this?" a stern voice shouted out. "Oh great," Harry thought. "More fun".

"Professor Mcgonagall, there is someone in the head boy and head girl's compartment, and he will not get out." Charlie said calmly. "Mr. Longbottom here, forgot the rule "No magic on the train, and hit me with a Bombarda hex."

"A bombarda hex," she appreciatively glanced over Neville. "I knew that Albus was giving you training, but that's a fourth year spell." Neville looked smug. "Nevertheless, you violated the rule of no magic on the train. As a result, you will receive 3 weeks detention."

"You can't do that." Neville exclaimed. "I'm the boy who lived."

"Ah yes, Mr. Longbottom. I had forgotten. Forgive my mistake. Albus has told me to give liberties to you, due to your intense training. You will not be receiving any detention, and I must commend you for using such an excellent spell." she said. "Now, I am not sure that I heard the first part of your statement correctly. You say that there is someone in the head boy and head girl's compartment and will not get out."

"Yes," both Charlie and Tonks said.

"Then why not just use Alohamora?" she asked.

"I believe that he is using the Yalice ward," Charlie replied.

"The Yalice ward. Why do you say that?" she asked, puzzled.

"Observe," Charlie said. "Stupefy," he said, turning his wand at a diagonal angle from his body. It reflected off of the wall.

"Hmm. Well then, there is an obvious solution. Bombard it with spells." she replied.

"We tried that. We used a total of 68 stupefies in one minute. No shield is so strong that it can take 68 stupefies." he said.

"Huh. How do you even know that there's someone in there." she said.

"Are you insinuating that I am non-existant," Harry said.

"Young man, I demand that you leave the compartment immediately. There will be dire consequences if you do not do so." she said.

"No." he replied.

"Alright. 50 points from Slytherin," she said.

"Why do you think I'm a Slytherin?" he asked.

"Who else would want to do something this terrible. Tonks is a Hufflepuff, and therefore no Hufflepuff would do this. Charlie is a Gryffindor and therefore no Gryffindor would do this. No Ravenclaw would ever do what you are doing. That just leaves Slytherin." she said.

"I'm actually a first year. What are you going to do now?" he said with a smirk.

"I find that impossible to believe. Nevertheless, I have a fool-proof way to discover your identity. I will simply just take roll." she said.

"Okay, go do that," Harry smirked. He teleported into a bathroom stall which he had previously locked so that no one would come in. He took the charm off of his voice, and confidently walked out. He found an empty compartment near the back, took out a book, and began to read.

"Potter, Harry," was called out by McGonagall.

"Here," he said. She frowned in disappointment, but kept going through the list. When she was finished, she frowned after seeing that there was no one missing. Harry teleported back into the Head compartment. McGonagall proceeded to cast as many Stupefies as she could at the door for a minute, but it would not budge. Sighing in defeat, she put her wand back in her pocket and conjured a couch in the opposite compartment.

"Well, you obviously are not a Hogwarts student," McGonagall said. "I do not know why you are on this train, but please do know that when you decide to come out, you will face criminal charges. I will be waiting right outside of this compartment for you."

"Gotcha," Harry said with a smirk. He took out his wands and began to fidget with them. He recalled that little light problem he was having before, when he realized that the answer was obvious. Using two wands he doubled the frequency of the light accompanying magic. With three wands, he would quadruple it. With four wands, he would make it eight times greater. The answer, then, was simple. Tinkering with the edge of his wands, he went to work.

=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=

"Potter, Harry," McGonagall cried out. It was already ten pm and the sorting ceremony had begun only twenty minutes ago. Harry confidently walked up to the sorting hat as he gazed upon the rest of the Hogwarts students. He smirked as a pale boy with orange hair and many freckles was holding his stomach in hunger sitting next to Longbottom. He had found the voice of the irritating first year to belong to one Hermione Granger, who also was sorted into Gryffindor. Harry saw three intelligent looking kids already sorted into Slytherin, the house he wanted to get into: Theodore Nott, Daphne Greengrass, and Tracey Davis, along with 5 brutish stupid looking people: Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, Pansy Parkinson, Millicent Bulstrode, and Draco "My father shall hear about this" Malfoy. It seemed that the odds were against decent people going to Slytherin. He wasn't sure by looking at Crabbe, Goyle, and Bulstrode, but at least by appearances, their only ambition was to put on as much weight as possible. As for Pansy, she looked like the classic prissy girl with her high-pitched laugh, and tangled hair. Draco Malfoy kept bragging about the influence of his father, a chip one should hold in their possession rather than bragging about it to everyone else. Although it would help him build a fan-base, the people's respect would live and die with Draco's father, and Harry did not want to be in that kind of a situation. In contrast, Theodore Nott, Daphne Greengrass, and Tracey Davis were having a quiet subdued conversation.

Harry smirked as he remembered what had happened on the train ride. McGonagall had called an entire legion of aurors to subdue the "mystery man that never showed up". People were beginning to think that she was insane. The sorting began at 9:40 when the furious Aurors had left Hogsmeade station, leaving a livid but sheepish McGonagall with 50 first year students of Hogwarts in her wake.

With a spring in his step, Harry sat on the stool and put the sorting hat on his own head, not wanting McGonagall to ever touch him. Immediately, he felt a foreign presence in his mind. Clamping down on it, he drove it away, and reinforced his mind shields.

"Calm down. I just need to access your mind to know where to sort you." the hat said in his mind.

"No thanks. I do not give anyone access to my mind." Harry replied.

"Well, I think that tells me enough," the hat replied. It shouted out "SLYTHERIN". Harry took the hat off of his head and watched as the stunned audience slowly put their hands together and clapped for him. With a slight nod, Harry walked to his seat at the Slytherin table, leaving a frowning Albus Dumbledore, a close to tears Minerva McGonagall, and an angry Severus Snape. He chose to sit next to Daphne Greengrass, who, with a shrug, went back to her conversation with Theodore Nott and Tracey Davis.

The sorting ended with Blaise Zabini being sorted into Slytherin. By then, Harry was able to convince Theodore, Daphne, and Tracey that muggles were, in fact, not incompetent. The four had the makings of a good alliance, and by the way Blaise was acting, it seemed that he would soon be joining them. The other group of Slytherins: Crabbe, Goyle, Bulstrode, Parkinson, and Malfoy were either rubbing their stomachs in hunger or making idle conversation.

"Attention Students. May I have your attention," Dumbledore said. "Now, before we begin, I have a few announcements to make. The Forbidden Forest is not to be entered at any times. In addition, the third floor corridor is off-limits to anyone who does not wish to die a gruesome death." At this, Neville laughed. "I have a few words to leave you with. And those are Nitwit, Blubber, Oddment, and Tweak. Enjoy the feast."

Harry was intrigued about the third floor corridor. After having established that his teleportation worked in Hogwarts, he decided to check it out. But before that, he needed to update his spell database. He found Charlie Weasley, and searched his mind for shields. Finding none, he kept eye contact with Charlie as he sorted through his memories, and put them in folders. He copied the entire magic folder and added it to his own magic folder. After finishing his updating, he broke eye contact with Charlie, who was holding his head in pain. Charlie would be fine, and Harry, having seen his memories, actually had some respect for Charlie. After the feast ended, in which Harry lost his appetite after watching Ronald Weasley swallow his food and talk with his mouth full, he went up to the Slytherin dorms in his group, which included Daphne, Theodore, Tracey, and Blaise. The second to seventh years watched in shock as it clearly seemed that the Slytherin first years had split into two factions. Harry saw Snape glare at him throughout the meal, and he felt a mental connection in his mind. Taking the initiative, he pushed into Snape's mind, and broke all illusions. While Snape was still trying to figure out what the hell was going on with his computer-like mind, he had already copied Snape's entire magic memories, and was thumbing through his personal memories to see if anything there was useful. He stopped cold when he saw that Snape had known his mother, and had tried to dose her with love potion. He broke the connection in disgust, leaving a very puzzled Snape, who thought he could get into Harry's mind easily. After the prefects led them to their dorms, the house had a full-house meeting led by one Severus Snape. Harry grimaced, as he knew that Snape would hold a grudge against him. In the personal section of Snape's memory, James, his father, had ruthlessly pranked Snape. Harry knew that Snape deserved it, and he also knew that Snape would be a prick about it. However, he was in Slytherin house for a reason. He just had to accept what punishment came his way, and get revenge when the time was right.

"Our dear and esteemed student has decided to finally give us his full attention," Snape said, glaring at Harry. Harry looked at him confused, as others were sharing bewildered looks. Snape had not said anything before, and had just started the conversation with the Slytherin house. "Tell me Potter. Do you know the Slytherin system?" he asked.

"No," Harry replied. He actually did know the Slytherin system, from what he had gathered from Snape's memories. However, he had to play dumb.

"5 Slytherin points from Mr. Potter for not knowing the Slytherin system. Now, the Slytherin system has been in place ever since Salazar Slytherin himself founded Slytherin house. The house is a hierarchial society, with each person having as many votes as his or her rank. When we make a decision as a house, Rank 0, the lowest rank, and currently all of the first years' rank, will not get a vote. Every year, you will automatically gain 100 Slytherin points, without doing anything. In addition, for every 100 Slytherin Points you gain or lose, you will go up or down a rank respectively. I will be the only one to award Slytherin Points. Top of the hierarchy is currently Marcus Flint, with 1280 Slytherin Points and at Rank 12. At the bottom of the hierarchy is currently Mr. Potter, with -5 Slytherin Points and at Rank 0. The lowest rank anyone in the history of Slytherin house has acheived is negative four, but I have a feeling that in seven years, that record will be broken." he said as the others sneered at Harry- bar Daphne, Tracey, Blaise, and Theodore.

"In addition to your voting number, your house rank is inherently tied to your sleeping arrangements, seating arrangements, and position. The hierarchy is a one-way system with the head of house at the very top. Rank 6 and above will each get their own dorms. Ranks 4 and 5 will have one roommate, and slightly worse dorms. Ranks 2 and 3 will have two roommates, and worse dorms. Rank 0 and 1 will have 4 roommates, and the dorms- let's just say won't be cleaned very often." he said. Harry sighed. He would not put up with being a rank 0 for his seven Hogwarts years. The time to act was now. In addition, he had just created a faction in the first years of Slytherin house. By asserting himself, he could convert others to his side.

"And what if I do not want to be a rank 0," Harry replied.

"Excellent question, Mr. Potter," Snape replied with a sneer. "There is a challenge system present in the Slytherin house. Simply put, if you want to, you may challenge another person's points. You may only challenge those with more points than you, but you may challenge someone multiple times during the same year. If you win, you gain 100 points and they lose 100 points. But, if you lose, you lose 200 points, and they gain 200 points. Since you're so eager to demonstrate, why don't we show what happens in a challenge. Potter. Flint. Prepare yourselves."

"For what," Harry replied.

"Why, for a duel," Snape said. "Surely you have heard of one before. Oh, I forgot. You lived with Muggles." he spit the last word out.

"Yes, I know what a duel is. Frankly, I find the practice to be barbaric. You settle your competitions with fights? What are you? 12th century citizens." Harry replied.

"Well, Potter," Snape said. "You seem to know so very much. Perhaps you cannot beat Mr. Flint here in a duel." he spit out.

"I guess, if I want to blend into pureblood schematics, I will have to fight Mr. Flint. This will give me some time to practice my new invisi-casting, patent pending" Harry said. Harry had fixed his little quandry in the train, and it had worked perfectly. All he needed to do was attach little mini-wands to his main wand, and angle them perfectly, so that the frequency would be higher than a normal light wave's frequency was. Using his phoenix tears as cores and the elm he stored in his trunk as wood, he began to craft incredibly tiny wands, the size of toothpicks. He realized that he would only be able to do his light wand because his dark wand would need a dark core. It was actually quite easy to make miniwands when using liquid for cores. All he had to do was take the elm, cut it into delicate pieces with his wand, take a Phoenix tear, and infuse it into each miniwand. It was an easy process, and he was able to craft 14 mini-wands in 2 hours. After he was done, he realized that he needed to figure out a way to tranfuse the magic from his wand to each of his mini-wands. The answer was obvious to him. He cast the magic transfer spell, which was used when a wizard willingly gave magic to another wizard, on his main wand. He then set up the fourteen other wands as magical transfers of equal amounts. After that, he permanently bonded each wand to his main wand, using an unbreakable sticking spell. He set up each wand at an angle so that they would all merge. The great thing about his new wand schematic was that the actual magical output would change very little. The MTE, or magical transfer efficiency, was 95 percent from his light wand to his miniwands, so his spells would be only five percent weaker. Of course, the MTE from his body to his light wand changed for the type of magic he did. The stronger light magic he did, the higher his MTE. However, if he did dark magic, the MTE would dip to about 25 percent. The end result would be fourteen weak spells combining to form one strong but invisible spell. So, in conclusion, he had the magical output of about a normal spell without the light that told where the spell was coming at all times. And the added effect of his wand looking very cool with fourteen protrusions coming out from the end. He decided to only use his light wand for the time being. Anyways, there was not much dark magic practiced in Hogwarts.

"Invisi-casting. What are you blathering on about now, boy." Snape said.

"As the heir of the most noble and ancient house of Potter, I command that you speak to me with respect," Harry said. Snape flushed but did not say anything.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Flint. Please, onto the Slytherin house dueling ring," Snape said. Immediately, the Slytherin house grew in size, and a small dueling ring appeared. Noticing Harry's confused look, Snape sneered, but said "Salazar Slytherin created an extension to the common room." Harry took his stance on one side while Flint took his stance on the other.

"What are the conditions?" Harry asked.

"No seconds. No unforgivables. No killing. Knock out wins, all else does not count." Snape said, thinking that there was no way that a first year brat could beat a full grown Hogwarts student. What he did not know was that Harry was not just a first year brat. Harry's magical knowledge included Charlie Weasley's and Severus Snape's own knowledge. While that would not give him the stamina involved in winning a duel, it did give him the knowledge of silent casting, another godsend in the form of dueling. Harry was hoping for a quick and easy victory in which he used invisi-casting to his benefit.

"Very well," Harry said.

"Begin" Snape said.

Flint, for all of his incredible strength, did not have any dueling strategy. He immediately sent three Stupefies Harry's way, a remarkable feat that only few could ever hope to achieve. However, in his attack, he neglected his defenses. At first, it looked like Harry had not done anything, only waved his wand. This was not the case, as Flint soon fell to the ground unconscious while Harry, using his nimble body, dodged the three stupefies.

"What just happened?" Daphne asked.

"I don't know," Tracey said. "But if Potter was doing this with Muggle technology, then wizard-kind is screwed. It's definitely not any magic I know about."

"It's actually fairly obvious how he did it," Blaise piped up. "I have been trying to do something similar, but I did not think of his solution. It is actually rather ingenious."

"POTTER. What is the meaning of this?" Snape shouted. He was almost in tears as his most prized student had lost to his nemesis's son. And he was a first year.

"I'm sorry," Harry said.

"You cheated." Snape shouted.

"Wrong." Harry said.

"You didn't say anything" Snape said.

"Silent casting," Harry calmly replied.

"You didn't cast anything though." Snape shouted yet again.

"Invisi-casting," Harry smugly replied. "So, that means that I'm now at 95 Slytherin Points." he said.

"NO. YOU CHEATED." Snape shouted.

"I actually did not, as I have explained to you many times," Harry calmly replied.

"It is actually very simple how Harry was able to do it. He used science." Blaise piped up.

"Oh, and I'm sure you would know. You filthy half-blood." Malfoy said.

"Please, do not stick your nose in matters that do not concern yourself," Harry replied. Meanwhile, Flint had just gotten up.

"What happened," Flint said.

"I won the duel. Care to go again," Harry said.

"That's preposterous. He did not win, right Professor Snape," Flint said.

"Right," Snape replied. "He cheated."

"Oh for god's sakes," Harry said. "The rules said that knockout wins. Marcus Flint was clearly knocked out, so I win. If you could end your petty crusade against me, Professor Snape, we might actually get something done here, so that we can move on and go to sleep. I for one am tired."

"Hang on, Potter," Snape said.

"Yes," Harry replied.

"You claim that you used magic to incapitate Marcus Flint," Snape said.

"Yes," Harry said.

"But how did you learn such a spell? The least powerful incapitation spell would be a second-year level spell. You clearly have not learnt one that powerful." he said. "Unless, of course, you somehow managed to break the rules of the trace. May I see your wand?" he asked.

"But of course," Harry replied. He had prepared for this. He handed his wand over to the potions professor, who studied it immensely.

"I wouldn't recommend casting anything from that though," Harry said.

"And why is that?" Snape asked.

"I built a small runic structure on the base of the wand. If anyone but me tries to cast something from my wand, the magic flowing through the wand would be used to conjure spikes, which would then impale yourself in the hand." he replied.

"That is impossible," Snape said.

"Well, don't say I didn't warn you." Harry replied.

"Priori Incantato," Snape said. Immediately, 12 metal spikes impaled themselves in Snape's hand.

"Ouch," Harry said as Snape dropped the wand, clutching his hand in pain. Immediately, Harry called the wand back, and it flew back to his hand. He smirked at the awe-struck expressions of the rest. "You might want to get your hand checked." he said.

"You incompetent meddling little turd like fool," Snape muttered as he stalked out of the room clutching his hand in pain. Harry languidly sat back on one of the couches as Marcus Flint angrily glared at him, for even daring to insinuate that he was a better duelist than Flint was, and waved back merrily at him. He then followed the Slytherin 5th year prefect, who lead them to their dorm rooms. Just his luck. He was sharing his room with the living stomachs Crabbe and Goyle, Draco Malfoy, and a second year he did not know. With a sigh, he warded his bed so that no one could enter, and began to unpack.

"Gentlemen," Draco began to say. "Let's all take a moment of silence, for our dear friend Potter, who has no connections, and therefore cannot move up a rank." he said.

"Thank you Malfoy," Harry said. "But I believe that your moment of silence may be short-lived. I do have connections, just in better places. For I am sure that your death-eater godfather will be more than willing to assign me detentions with him. Unfortunately for you, I have a connection to a higher entitiy than your godfather."

"How did you know he's a death eater? And how did you know he's my godfather?" Malfoy shouted.

"I didn't. Until now," Harry said. He needed to confirm the facts before diving into the situation. At this point, his goal was to get as much dirt on Dumbledore as possible, then confront him, and blackmail him into emancipating him. If one of his employees was a Death Eater, that would look very bad. Added with the fact that he was the Heir of Slytherin and therefore, at age of majority, would contained 1/4 of the votes of the Board of Governors, he could get Dumbledore sacked then. He needed to gather his evidence, but so far, things were not looking good for Dumbledore.

"Well, I better get going," Harry said. He amiably strolled out of the Common Room, and teleported outside the Slytherin house. Casting a disillusionment charm on himself, he walked over to the third floor corridor. The door, on the end of the corridor, was locked. With a simple alohamora, he opened the door, finding himself staring face to face with a Cerebrus. It was a good thing then, that he knew from Snape's memories that Cerebri slept when listening to music. He began to sing a soft lullaby that Petunia often sang to Dudley, and grimaced to himself. If anyone caught him in this position, he would be doubly screwed. Once for being in the third floor corridor, and once for singing a lullaby. "Oh well," he sighed as he opened the trapdoor right beneath it. He took out his wand and shouted "LUMOS".

He saw a Devil's Snare right beneath him, a plant that shirked away from fire. He muttered a quick incendio and neutralized that trap. He then fell on the floor with a quick cushioning charm, neutralizing the blow.

Next, he saw a room full of keys, and he noted, with a smirk, that the solution was to grab the right key. Well he would have none of that. Making sure that he teleported exactly three feet north from his current position, he turned and teleported. He ended up in a room with four trolls. He dodged their clumsy attacks, and teleported exactly 15 feet from his current location. It was a bit of a gamble, but it was worth it, as he escaped the troll room, and was now in a room with a giant chess set. He smirked at the stupidity of these puzzles. Most wizard would try to play their way across the board, when the obvious solution was just to teleport on the other side. Okay, so maybe not everyone could teleport. Still, they could just blast apart the opponent's pieces.

He then found himself in a room with 7 potion vials and a riddle. He quickly read the riddle and snorted in derision. Anyone who actually wanted to protect the item ahead would put poison in all seven bottles. But no, whoever made this riddle either needed a way to get across or was just that stupid. With a low sigh, he teleported to the other side of the flames. As soon as he teleported, he was assaulted by the brightness of a stone. 'This must be a Philosopher's stone' he thought to himself. Pocketing the stone, he teleported back to his dorm and onto his bed.

"See, professor. See. What did I tell you. He just left." Malfoy said.

"Or I tricked you by using a disillusionment charm," Harry replied, his heart pumping. A few minutes later, and he would have been screwed.

"How do you know how to do a disillusionment charm. That is OWL level." Snape said.

"By all means," Harry smirked. "Go ahead and check my wand."

Snape just scowled and walked away. Draco, flushed, climbed under the covers of his bed and went to sleep. Harry soon followed, content with his rough but exciting day.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: So I currently do not have access to a copy of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. If anyone could provide me with a link, that would be helpful. But until then, you will have to suffer from minute changes from canon with regard to my memory of a book I read 8 years ago.**

**Chapter 4:**

IN DUMBLEDORE'S OFFICE

"What the hell?" Dumbledore said. He could have sworn his tracking charm on the Philosopher's stone had just disappeared. He called Fawkes, who transported him to the secret chamber. Immediately, he saw his prized Philosopher's stone missing.

"Goddamit. This is so like Nicholas. He stole the stone back. Damn him. Okay, now I need a new plan to get Neville over to protect the stone. But how?" he thought to himself. "Oh yeah. I can just make a fake stone." Taking out his wand, he conjured a red stone, and put a spell on it to make it shine. With a satisfied nod, he put his wand back, and left it there so that he could get Neville to save it. He called his phoenix back, who transported him back to his room.

=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=

Two boys looked down at a map as they glanced at each other. They had made plans to explore the third floor corridor, and had decided to take an object that did not belong to them, the Marauder's Map, with them. They saw two footsteps walking in the third-floor corridor by the name of Prongs Junior. They turned to each other, and said at the same time "Wicked".

=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=

"Hello Harry," a feminine voice said to Harry as he just woke up.

"Wha- Who's there?" Harry groggily said.

"Oh, you'll find out soon enough. I just wanted to confirm something," the voice said.

"Confirm what?" Harry asked. But the voice was gone. Harry sighed in disappointment. He had actually thought something interesting was going to happen. He lept out of bed, and calmly walked out into the Slytherin common room. There, he was shocked.

On the center board, it seemed that the person and his or her Slytherin points were right next to each other. Harry was shocked to see that Snape had taken 200 points from him for "cheating", and gave the duel to Flint. Of course, the magic of the Slytherin house recognized Harry as the victor, and gave him the hundred points, so Snape took another 200 points off of him and gave 200 points to Flint so that it would appear that Flint had won. He took a total of 300 points from Harry, meaning he was already a rank -3. In addition to being at the bottom of the hierarchy, he would also have the worst housing arrangements for many years to come, and negative votes. Negative votes in Slytherin did not count as they would in other places; the top of the hierarchy would gain the amount of votes that the person with negative votes had. This essentially meant that Flint would be in power for a while, as he held 13 percent of the votes. Harry realized that he had to play a card soon, or he would be humiliated beyond recognition. With an audible sigh, Harry decided that it was time to dethrone Snape.

Of course, there was only one way to dethrone Snape. As long as he was Lord Slytherin, and there was no Lord Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Gryffindor, he would own the school, and would therefore be in control of the teachers. However, he was only the heir of Slytherin, not Lord Slytherin. But, as the heir of Slytherin, he could shift around the Slytherin areas of the castle as he saw fit. Revealing himself to be the heir of Slytherin could be a tactical mistake, as it could lead to Dumbledore taking even more of an interest in his life. However, if he did not reveal himself to be the heir of Slytherin, he would constantly have to take Snape's bullying.

Harry resolved to try to come to an understanding with Snape before doing anything. After all, the most ancient and noble house of Potter held a lot of weight. If he could convince Snape to not risk drawing his ire, he might be able to avoid this whole mess.

Harry walked to the Slytherin table at the great hall followed quickly by Blaise, Daphne, Theodore, and Tracey. He took a seat, as did the others near him.

"Harry, I saw what happened. Snape really needs to learn his place." Daphne said.

"I know. He has a feeling of invincibility just because Dumbledore has been defending him, yet every year he makes enemies with most of the magical population. What he does not understand is that his entire life is currently tied to Dumbledore. If Dumbledore died, Snape would be screwed," Harry explained.

"Harry, I think I know how invisi-casting works," Blaise said excitedly.

"Really," Harry said. "Well then, tell me."

"I noticed that your wand had fourteen protrusions off the end of it. I think that would somehow make the wavelength of light lower. How, I do not yet know, but I'll figure that out soon." he said.

"Very astute of you, Blaise," Harry said, genuinely impressed. "A wizard who actually bothered to study Muggle science."

"Yes, well, my mother is a Muggle, and my dad was a Ravenclaw, so all learning was encouraged," Blaise said.

"You're a halfblood?" Tracey said.

"Hey. I'm a halfblood too, and I am from the noble Greengrass line. What are you trying to say, Tracey?" Daphne said.

"Well yeah, but your mom was a halfblood. He's pure half."

"So," Harry said. "Are you trying to say that purebloods are better than halfbloods. I thought we went over this yesterday."

"Well... But" Tracey began.

"No. Halfbloods, purebloods, muggle-borns. They're all the same. It doesn't matter which one you are." Harry said. "You need to get your parents' teachings out of your system. That's the only way you're going to advance here."

There conversation was cut short with Snape's sneer. "Potter," he said. "Don't get comfortable in your current lodgings yet. I have found suitable accommodations for a rank -3."

"May I speak with you in private, Professor Snape," Harry politely yet curtly said.

"Oh sure," Snape said as a look of positive glee washed over his face. "I'll walk you to your new lodging." They walked back to the dungeons where the Slytherin common rooms were. Along the way, Snape continued to berate Harry and compare him to his father. As soon as they got in the room, Harry transported a premade hollow box lined with Phoenix tears around Severus Snape. Snape howled in outrage and screamed "POTTER. What have you done?"

"I will say this once, Severus, and I will not say it again. Do not mess with me." Harry coldly said as he clamped the box down to the floor.

"What madness is this? Bombarda." Snape yelled. The curse reflected back at him, and made him crash against the side of his cage. Harry smirked as Snape groggily got up.

"POTTER. Release me immediately." Snape yelled.

"Can't," Harry said with a grin. "I might have released you had you not taken 300 points off of me,"

"POTTER." Snape yelled.

"Here is the deal, Snivellus," Harry said. "Either you stop your verbal assaults and unfair treatment of me, or you lose your job. I really do not care which one, so take your decision now."

"And what authority do you have over my job?" Snape asked snidely, momentarily forgetting the position he was in.

"Well, you can't work if you're dead," Harry said coldly. Snape staggered as he realized the implications.

"You wouldn't dare, Potter," Snape said. "You'll get put in Azkaban."

"If I get caught," Harry said.

"And what's stopping me from telling Dumbledore?" Snape said.

"Look fool. I know that you do not listen to anyone but yourself. So I am going to obliviate you after we have this talk, but you will write, with a blood quill, not to mess with Harry Potter." Harry said.

"And if I refuse," Snape said.

"Then death," Harry replied. While he was not actually planning on killing Snape, for it was too risky, he probably could milk the death threat for all it was worth.

"How will you kill me, Potter? You cannot even win in a duel with a student. How are you going to take on a professor?" Snape said.

"Are you serious? I just trapped you in a freaking box, and you have no way of getting out. You honestly don't think I can't kill you, right." he said.

"Really Potter. You honestly think that I am trapped? Your arrogance knows no bounds. And even if I did cooperate with your little plan, what's stopping me from shoving veritaserum down your throat?" Snape asked.

"Tut tut," Harry said. "The penalty of threatening usage of veritaserum is a 500 galleon fine. Actually using it will get you at least 2 years in Azkaban, if it's your first offense. Which I doubt it is. So, in essence, you will be screwed. Besides, if I do realize that I am under the effects of Veritaserum, I will put myself under a silencing charm so strong that not even Albus Dumbledore could break it."

"Why you," Snape started to say as he tried his repertoire of spells on the cage trapping him, only to find them all being reflected straight back at him. With a heaving sigh, Snape passed out.

=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=

A passed out and mind-wiped Snape left with the searing message of a blood quill that read "don't mess with Harry Potter" on his chest was lying on the ground in the Slytherin common room as Harry walked out, whistling merrily as he walked over to the great hall. Thankfully for both Harry and Snape, Snape had given all of them their schedules the previous night, and did not work on Mondays. Harry estimated that Snape would wake up in about an hour, and curse Harry's name or something. Harry sighed. When did school ever get this complicated?

Oh, and he was now a rank 2. He could have chosen any rank, really, but he did not want to push it.

He walked back into the Great Hall, which was almost devoid of students who had already finished their meal and had scampered to their classes. Harry took out his shrunk schedule from his pocket, and expanded it. With a sigh, he noted that he had transfiguration first with McGonagall. McGonagall had already shown her true colors the day she took points from Slytherin without any proof, and Harry did not want to be in a classroom with her. Fortunately for Harry, the grades that he got in school would not even show up on his transcript. The only thing that would show up would be his test scores: specifically, his OWLs and NEWTs. Harry turned around and walked up near the Gryffindor tower, and took a seat next to Blaise and Tracey. He noticed the tabby-cat at the front of the room, and wondered why it was there. Then, it hit him. McGonagall was one of the seven wizards or witches in the country who was a registered Animagus. He smirked, as he noted that Longbottom and Weasley weren't there yet, and would have to face her wrath.

As the time before class started drew to a close, people were starting to question where their transfiguration professor was. He sat back in his seat, not wanting to give the answer away. Finally, two minutes after class started, two boys, both red-faced from running, came into the room. Longbottom and Weasley.

"Oh good. I thought we were going to be late," Weasley said as he proceeded to make his way to his seat. McGonagall took this time to transform into her human form, and said "5 points from Gryffindor, Weasley. For tardiness."

"But why doesn't Longbottom get points off?" Harry questioned. He was the only one who was not startled by McGonagall's transformation.

"Longbottom has enough on his plate being the boy-who-lived. Now, in this class, we are going to be learning the art of Transfiguration." she began.

"Professor," Granger interrupted.

"Yes, Ms. Granger," McGonagall said.

"Did you just do an Animagus transformation. You know, turn into an animal," Hermione said.

"Yes I did, Ms. Granger. 5 points to Gryffindor for pointing that out," McGonagall said with a smile. Harry seethed at Granger's uppity behavior before calming down and putting back a neutral expression on his face.

"Now, for the first lesson, we will be turning matchsticks into needles," McGonagall said. "I trust that you have read the theory behind this."

"Yes, Professor McGonagall," the class droned back.

"Excellent. Well then, one matchstick for each of you," she said as she passed around a box of matchsticks, each person taking one. It got around the room, and back to McGonagall in only 1 minute because everyone was excited to do their first magic.

"Right then. Now, transfiguration is all about will. That is why there is no specific spell for transfiguration. There are charms for transfiguration such as switching charms or vanishing charms, but those work in a different way than transfiguration works. So, what I want you to do, is concentrate on a needle, and point your wand at it. Now, although there is no specific spell for transfiguration, you are going to want to say exaequet ad acus (match to needle) while you do your transformation so that you are actively thinking of the spell. If you do it right, a dull orange light will come out of your wand. I do not expect any of you to get it on your first try, or maybe even your first day, except of course Mr. Longbottom, but with practice, you will get it soon enough." she said.

Harry picked up his wand, and soundlessly turned his matchstick into a needle. He proceeded to go to sleep. With his enhanced Occlumency abilities, he needed about 10 hours of sleep a day to sort through the memories he had collected from others. Even without actively searching for memories, his Legimency was at a stage in which it would constantly activate when he found a skill that he did not know if another person in the same room was actively thinking about it. As a result, he often woke up with the knowledge of how to do things, but not the knowledge of how he got that knowledge.

"Oh, very good. Hermione Granger has done it, and on her second try too. Congratulations, Ms. Granger. 10 points to Gryffindor. You may be a transfiguration prodigy." McGonagall said as she walked across the room.

"And Mr. Longbottom achieved it on his first try. 10 points to Gryffindor for you too. Well, what else can you expect from the boy-who-lived." she said.

A dull snoring sound was heard across the room, as Harry had just begun to fall asleep.

"Mr. Potter," McGonagall said, as she heard the snore. No response.

"Mr. Potter," McGonagall said again a bit louder. Again no response.

She walked over to where he was sitting, and sharply tapped his shoulder. He immediately woke up, and proceeded to turn and look around. He looked around and saw an angry McGonagall standing over him.

"Yes," he said as his vision straightened out, and he rubbed his eyes, putting his glasses back on.

"What is the meaning of this?" she asked.

"The meaning of what?" Harry responded, dumbfounded.

"Why were you sleeping in my class," she said.

"Because it was boring," Harry replied.

"Boring. How was it boring?" she said.

"It was boring because it's so easy," Harry said.

"Easy? What do you mean easy? If it's so easy, where is your needle?" McGonagall said. Harry drew out his needle and gave it to McGonagall for her to inspect.

"This cannot possibly be a needle transfigured by a first year. You must have come into class with a needle." she said.

With a sigh, Harry conjured a match, then transfigured it into a needle. When he was done, he handed it to McGonagall, and tried to go to sleep again.

"Mr. Potter," she said again. "How did you manage a conjuration. Why didn't you say anything. And perhaps the most importantly, why did no light come out of your wand?" she said.

"Books, non-verbal casting, invisi-casting," Harry said.

"What is invisi-casting?" McGonagall said.

"Do you have a working understanding of the relationship of physics to magic?" Harry asked.

"Physics? What is physics?" McGonagall said. With a sigh, Harry said "Never mind."

"May I inspect your wand, Mr. Potter," McGonagall said.

"You cannot cast anything with it, but you can look at it," he said as he gave it to her.

"What are these things on the end?" McGonagall asked.

"Why should I tell you?" Harry replied, taking his wand back.

"Mr. Potter, I am a professor at Hogwarts, and I will be addressed with respect." she said.

"I never wanted to go to Hogwarts. PAM is much better," Harry retorted.

"PAM? Paris Academy of Magic? Hogwarts is ranked 1st internationally while PAM is ranked 422th. In a world with only 518 recognized magical schools, that is fairly low," she said haughtily.

"Hogwarts is ranked first by the British. Beauxbatons is ranked first in France, and Salem Academy of Magic is ranked first in America. Of the three, I think Salem is the best, even though it ranks 12th on the British list. Although it does not teach actual muggle sciences and mathematics, it does teach a legitimate Muggle Studies class," Harry said. "The differences in curriculum and lack of standardized tests between different countries prevent us from actually finding out which school is the best, though."

"What are you talking about? Our Muggle Studies class is amazing." she said.

"Our Muggle Studies class is taught by a pureblood who barely knows what electricity is." Harry said.

"What's electricity?" One of the students asked.

"Why don't you answer that, Professor," Harry said with a smirk, until an annoying voice popped in.

"Electricity is the set of physical phenomena associated with the presence and flow of electric charge. Electric charge is a property of some subatomic particles, which determines their electromagnetic interactions. Electrically charged matter is influenced by, and produces, electromagnetic fields" Granger said.

"Thank you, know-it-all," Harry said. "Do you have an eidetic memory?"

"As a matter of fact, I do," Granger replied.

"Really," Harry said. "I do too. But unlike you, I actually use my memory for stuff other than memorizing definitions."

"This tangent has gone on for too long. Potter, 20 points from Slytherin for cheek." McGonagall interrupted. "Now, go back to work."

"But I'm done," Harry said.

"Well then go back to sleep." she said.

"OK," He replied as he proceeded to fall asleep.

After a nice 2 hour nap, he woke up when McGonagall was finishing the class. "Okay, I expect a foot of parchment from each of you on how the transfiguration is supposed to work except from Mr. Longbottom and Ms. Granger," she said.

"A foot of parchment? That has to be the dumbest thing I ever heard," Harry ridiculed.

"I'm sorry," McGonagall said, though inwardly she was seething.

"You're asking for a foot of parchment," he said.

"Yes," she said.

"So not only do we have to write on parchment, but we have to measure it too," he said.

"Yes," she replied.

"So I cannot use a pencil and a piece of paper." he said.

"What, Mr. Potter, is a pencil?" she said.

Harry stared at her for five seconds as if she were crazy, then proceeded to just walk out of the room. "Note to self," he thought to himself. "Transfiguration classes are terrible. Do not attend."


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while, and sorry if this update sucks. Whoever told you senior year is easy is lying to you. Between college apps and classes, I barely had any time to work on this. I also had serious writer's block, which kinda sucks.**

**I've read some fics where Dumbledore was just pure evil. Like making Horcruxes and acting as bad as Voldy. In this fic, Dumbledore will want things for the greater good, but at a price. He's not going to be totally evil. He's actually going to be good, just misguided. Of course, he still won't be on the same side of Harry, who will want everything for himself.**

**-Sakura Lisel those are some good questions. To your first question, normal people do not break down doors with their knocks. Hagrid was trying to break down the door and it took him three strokes to do it. To your second question, Harry was raised by Muggles, so he would obviously, to Dumbledore, think that the entire thing was a joke. He sent Hagrid to assimilate Harry to the magical world, and to convert him into thinking like a Gryffindor. Hope that clears it up for you.**

**Chapter 5: The First Week**

To Harry's incredible dismay, Hogwarts was not shaping up right for him. The week had passed, and it turned out that every class required students to write with quills on parchment, and every class was extremely stupid. In charms, they did not cast any spells the first week; Flitwick just taught theory that was wrong. In Defense Against the Dark Arts, they had an incompetent teacher who kept going on and on about vampires. Herbology was okay for Harry, if a little boring. Astronomy was based on astrology, not science, and everyone knows astrology is false. In addition, Astronomy took place in midnight, when the stars were out at 8, 9 at the latest. History of Magic was taught by a ghost who kept going back to the goblin wars and revolutions. And now, on Friday, was the final class of the day: Double potions.

Harry walked into the Gryffindor/Slytherin potions class, and took a seat in the middle next to Blaise. As per Harry's instructions, Snape left Harry alone in the common room, and would avoid being alone in the same room with Harry. He did not give nor take away any points from Harry, and Harry left him alone too. Harry pitied Theo, as he had told Harry to call him, who had to work with Malfoy, as Daphne and Tracey were working together. A few minutes later, Neville Longbottom strutted into class with his follower, Ronald Weasley in tow. Hermione Granger, of course, was already present at the beginning of class.

"Put your wands away," Snape drawled. The class looked at each other in confusion, as none of them had their wands out. "This class will not have any foolish wand-waving, and it will instead cover the exact science of potion making."

Longbottom made a disparaging snort as he obviously considered potions to be a waste of his time.

"Of course, some of you may think that potions is not worth your time. Longbottom," he yelled. "Where would you look if I told you to find a bezoar?"

"The potions cabinet, sir," he said with a definitive smirk. Snape looked at him in disgust, and in this particular instance, Harry was delighted to see Snape berating the Gryffindors.

"Let's try again. What is the difference between wolfsbane and monkshood?" he asked.

"Wolfsbane is used to cure GHS, while monkshood is used to cure BNS," Neville responded, purposefully leaving in the acronyms.

"And what is GHS?" Snape asked. "What is BNS?"

"GHS is greasy hair syndrome," Longbottom said. "And BNS is big nose syndrome. Both of which, I think you have, by the way. Have you been taking your wolfsbane and monkshood?" Harry suppressed a laugh. Longbottom was a dick, but he could be funny at times.

"Impudent brat," Snape said. "Detention, Mr. Longbottom. For cheek."

"Can't get detention," Longbottom said. "I'm the boy who lived."

"If only, the boy who lived crap didn't get to his head, and his head wasn't stuffed up Dumbledore's ass, he might be a good ally," Blaise whispered to Harry.

"True," Harry said. He took out a bag of popcorn from his pocket- both the bag and his pocket were charmed to be endless- and offered some to Blaise, as they watched Snape stare at Longbottom.

'Stupid brats,' Snape was thinking. 'First Potter and now Longbottom. And the worst thing is that I can't do a thing to either. If I do anything to Potter, I might be in the same condition as last time, and if I do anything to Longbottom, Dumbledore will screw me. So, who do I attack?' He scoured the room, and looked to the person next to Longbottom. The boy was eating a chocolate frog nonchalantly in the potions classroom. 'Weasley', Snape thought.

"Weasley. No eating in my classroom," Snape yelled. "Detention for eating."

"But-" Weasley tried to interject.

"No buts. Unless you want another detention." Snape said.

Harry smirked. Now would be a good time to test his influence over Snape. "But certainly professor," he said with a glint in his eye. "You never told us that we could not eat in class, so how can you blame Weasley for doing so." All the while, he was conveniently chewing on his popcorn.

Snape looked like he was swallowing Skele-gro, but reluctantly said "Very well. You will not have to serve detention this time. Now turn to page 41 and brew the Cure for Boils potion." Saying this, he stalked off into his private quarters, leaving the students to brew potions. Unfortunately, not everyone knew exactly how to brew a potion. After three explosions, the people who did not know what they were doing just stopped. By the end of the class, only Longbottom and Weasley, Harry and Blaise, Daphne and Tracey, Parkinson and Granger, and Theo and Malfoy had a finished potion to submit. Harry scooped a vial of his potion up and presented it to Snape, who merely grunted at his presence. It would no doubt get an outstanding- even if Harry had submitted water it would get an outstanding.

Harry walked back to the Slytherin common room as he had a few spare hours before he needed to go to dinner. He had finished his potion two hours before the class ended, and therefore had enough time to go back to the Slytherin house. He and Blaise went back to their shared room, as Blaise had been upgraded to a level two like all of Harry's friends, and now Harry, Theo, and Blaise shared a room. Harry walked into the common room when he heard a noise. It was the same noise he had heard that Monday.

"Hello Harry," the voice said. Harry looked around, but could not see anything making the noise. Blaise was looking at him oddly, for this was not behavior expectant of Harry. Harry had just resolved that he had heard it in his head when the voice came again.

"Oh, surely you have not forgotten me," it said. Harry decided that a simple test was in order. He walked over to the other side of the common room, with Blaise following curiously, to see if the voice would get louder or softer. He waited there for five minutes, when Blaise eventually got bored and went back to their shared room to sleep for a while.

"Now that he's gone, let's talk," the voice came back. Surprisingly, it was the same volume as before. This lead to two conclusions. One, the two points that he listened from were equidistant to the source. Or two, the sound was propogated from multiple areas of the common room. Harry turned his head in wonder throughout the room. "So, have you figured out who I am yet?" it asked.

"No," Harry said.

"Well, think about it," the voice replied. "What language am I speaking in?"

"English - right?" he said. He pondered it. He understand the speaker's language as English, but Blaise could not hear it, meaning that it could not possibly be English. There was only one language which one person could hear and another person could not, and that was Parsletongue. And if you were a parslemouth, you did not know you were a parslemouth for you heard it as your native language. But there was a problem with that theory. Apparently, the trait for parsletongue is passed by blood, and in England, only those of Slytherin's descent had the gene.

Wait. Slytherin's descent. Harry was the heir of Slytherin! That had to count as Slytherin's descent, right. Of course. He had no idea how he had Slytherin's blood flowing through his veins, but it was there.

"Parsletongue," Harry confidently said.

"Good, good," the voice replied. "Now, put the pieces together. Where am I?"

Harry looked around the room, and spotted a small picture of a snake on a wall. He walked over to it, and hissed in parsletongue "Open". The wall vanished, and he looked down into an inky pit of darkness. From the light that propagated from the rest of the room, he could see a set of stairs that led down.

"Very good, boy," the voice returned. "Now come down here, I need to talk to you."

Harry was not a stupid Gryffindor and definitely did not feel it was necessary to go down there and face the danger himself, so he conjured a test mouse, put a tracking charm on it, and sent it down the stairs. Satisfied that there were no traps as the mouse descended down the stairs, he stepped onto the first stair. Immediately the doors closed behind him. Crap.

He lit his wand and ventured forward, seeing nothing but darkness in the underground chamber. Suddenly, he saw a large yellow eye peering at him. With a frightened yelp, he turned around and ran back up the stairs, when he heard the guffawing laughter of the snake- if snakes could laugh. Realizing that it was all a trap when the torches all lit around him, he turned and faced the most terrifying and most magnificent creature he had ever seen.

With skin as green as Harry's eyes, a long, huge body, and scales as sharp as a sword, the basilisk slithered over to Harry, who was almost stuttering in fear. He understood why people died when they saw the basilisk; no one should see something this magnificent and live to tell the tale. But he was not dead. Why was that?

"Young heir of Slytherin," the great snake said. "I have forseen your coming. I also thought you would be a little taller, but we have to work with what we have," the snake said. Harry flushed at the height comment, but otherwise stayed constant. "Know that I am your servant as Lord Slytherin made me, and that I will always serve you."

"Okay," Harry said slowly. He now had a huge basilisk for a servant. "Do you have a name?"

"Regine. My name is Regine. So, who do you want me to kill first," Regine said. Seeing Harry's shocked look, she quickly amended "I was kidding, master."

"Oh," Harry said.

"I can kill if you would like me to," the great snake said. "But for now, I should keep a low profile."

"Definitely," Harry agreed. "Well, is there anything else?" he asked.

"No." the snake definitively said. "You can go back up now. I have taken the liberty of moving the entrance to your quarters."

"Thank you," Harry said. He climbed up the long set of stairs, and hissed "Open" to the wall. Immediately it opened out into his room, and he proceeded to climb under the covers and take a nap. He had seen so much that day, and needed to process it.

=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=

"Harry, wake up," Blaise said. "It's time for dinner."

"Wha-" Harry said as he got up. "How the hell did you get in here?" he said. Blaise had somehow crossed his runic circle to wake Harry up for dinner.

"Well it wasn't easy, I can tell you that." Blaise said. "But, with a little research, I figured that you were using a standard Laxile ward to guard your areas. I found the wardstone, and desensitized it by soaking your wardstone in a highly acidic solution. It took me nearly 20 minutes."

"You can denature wardstones with acidic solutions," Harry said wide-eyed. He had never experimented with that before.

"Of course," Blaise said. "Today's curse-breakers don't even know the half of how to break through wards. Most wardstones will denature at acidic climates."

"Interesting," Harry replied. "Anyways, let's go get something to eat."

"Yeah, let's go," Blaise agreed. The two walked down to the Great Hall accompanied by Theo, Tracey, and Daphne. They took their seats and served themselves the entree: turkey with mashed potatoes. It was no wonder that wizards were so overweight, Harry mused. They hardly got any exercise and ate so heavily. Harry resolved to never be that stupid.

"Hey Malfoy. Why did your death eater godfather give you a better grade than me?" Longbottom shouted from the entrance of the great hall. Ronald Weasley was vigorously nodding his head, eager to support his friend. "I heard you got an E while I only got an A." Granger looked scandalous, no doubt because she and Pansy had only gotten an A too. She must have thought an A was perfect, like it was in Muggle grading systems.

"Maybe it's because I actually have talent, unlike you fools," Draco pompously said to the two idiots standing at the front of the hall.

"Oh yeah. Let's see your talent in a real competition. I challenge you to a wizard's duel. Do you accept?" he said.

"Gladly. Who's your second?" he asked.

"Weasley," Longbottom retorted. "Who's yours?"

Malfoy by now had realized that he was in serious trouble. He knew that Longbottom had gotten advanced training from Dumbledore. Although he was confident that he was at least on par with Longbottom, he realized that there was no way his brutish friends could match up to the living stomach, Weasley. And he would definitely not be in good condition after he beat Longbottom to take care of Weasley. But none of his friends had even cast a spell out of their wand. And it would look bad if he got a higher year as his second, because then the battle would have an obvious winner. So, he did what he had to do. "Potter," he said with a smirk.

Harry, who had been eating normally and largely ignoring the conflict going on between the two, dropped his breadstick at the mention of his name.

"What do you say, Potter. You and me kicking their arses. I'll throw in a good word with Snape for you." Malfoy said. The professors and the other students were now watching this confrontation, no one daring to say anything. Dumbledore was inwardly thinking 'This is a good time for Neville to get supporters by showing how much better he is than everyone else.'

"Malfoy, the day I ally with you is the day that pigs begin to fly," Harry said. Blaise hurridly whispered into his ear that there were already flying pigs in the magical world, so Harry quickly retracted his statement. "Scratch that," Harry said. "The day I ally with you is the day that Voldemort starts a cupcake business and starts donating to the poor."

"What's the matter, Malfoy," Longbottom taunted. "Can't get one of your dark evil slimy snakes to fight your battle for you."

"Bigbottom," Harry said. The Slytherin table, and a few of the students at other houses laughed at Harry's modification of the boy-who-lived's name. "Are you insinuating that I am a dark evil slimy snake?"

"Well, if the shoe fits," Longbottom said.

"Look, Bigbottom," Malfoy said, stealing Harry's insult. "You are obviously so outclassed by me that Potter does not think that I even need a second. And I happen to agree with him. One on one."

Dumbledore decided that now would be a good time to act. "Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Longbottom. Dueling is against the Hogwarts school rules. However, I think that it would be a good idea to show the other students the proper etiquette for dueling. So, just this once, I will allow it." he said. He transfigured the area between the four house tables and the head table into a dueling arena, and set up two platforms- one on each side. "Well then, come on up here," he gestured. Immediately, both vindictive looking boys ran up to the make-shift dueling arena, eager to bet the other. 'And to think,' Harry mused. 'This all started with a grade.'

"Well, it's obvious who's going to win," Blaise remarked. "Longbottom has been practicing for six years, while Malfoy got his wand at most eight weeks ago."

"True," Harry said. "This is no doubt a ploy by Dumbledore to get more people on the light side after seeing Longbottom's power."

"Take twenty paces from each other," Dumbledore said, wating a sufficient amount of time for them to finish walking. "Turn." Both boys turned around. "Bow." he said as both boys bowed to each other. "Begin."

Malfoy immediately started with a second year Stupefy, a fairly powerful hex for Malfoy that left him drained. Longbottom merely side-stepped it while saying "Enhaci" while pointing his wand at himself. Immediately, he started moving at five times his normal speed, and ran over to where Malfoy was. He got to the other side of the pitch while Malfoy was still recovering from his use of the Stupefy hex. Malfoy clearly was not expecting this. He held his wand to Malfoy's head, and knocked Malfoy's wand out of his hand, daring him to do anything else. With a quick Stupefy, Longbottom knocked Malfoy out.

While the other students clapped and cheered, Harry analyzed Longbottom's use of the Enhaci spell. The enhaci spell was used to slow down the user's time, making his movements much quicker. The drawback was that it used a tremendous amount of energy. Longbottom's was at full power, as he went almost five times as fast as his normal speed, which meant that Longbottom was a formidable enemy, in the sense that he was extremely powerful. Longbottom was sweating profusely after the duel, which meant that he could only hold up the spell for about 20 seconds, or four seconds for an observer. So Longbottom's general dueling strategy was subdue as fast as possible. Longbottom wanted to end any duel he was involved in as quickly as possible. He could only keep up 5 times speed for probably a maximum of 30 seconds until he passed out, so as long as a dueler could hold out on Longbottom for 6 seconds, they would nullify his advantage, and leave Longbottom extremely tired. This also meant that Longbottom could not keep this up against more than one opponent. Also, the Enhanci would only quicken his movements, not the spells that left his wand. If it normally took a second for the magic to travel, it would take 5 enhanced seconds to get there. That meant that Longbottom's magic would be working 5 times slower than average. So any formidable dueler could easily beat Longbottom, as his use of the Enhanci spell had more weaknesses than it did strengths.

"The winner is undoubtedly Mr. Longbottom," Dumbledore said as the crowd cheered for Longbottom, who had just caught his breath. Dumbledore refreshed Malfoy, who got up and went back to his seat, a permanent scowl on his face. Longbottom pompously walked back to his seat smirking the entire way.

=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=

"Students, put your right hand over your broom, and say up," Madam Hooch said. That Saturday was their first flying lesson on brooms. Harry, of course, found Quidditch to be a stupid sport and a waste of time. Not only was the snitch worth a disproportionate amount of points, but the positions were highly skewed. However, flying seemed like a fun endeavor to Harry, which is why he had even bothered to show up to the flying lesson. Although they were technically "required", there were no consequences for missing flying lessons, and there really was no point if you had no skill on a broom to go. Harry decided that he might as well try it. So there he was with the Slytherins and Gryffindors at the Quidditch pitch. Of course, he knew it was going to be bad already with Longbottom and Malfoy telling exploits of their skill on brooms.

Harry stuck his right hand over his knotted, wobbly school broom and said "Up". The broom immediately shot up to his right hand. A few of Harry's friends looked surprised as he was raised by Muggles and therefore should have had no previous flying knowledge. The wizard-raised students all did the task with no difficulty, while the Muggle-borns all took a lot of time before finally getting the brooms into their hands.

"Now, on the count of three, I want all of you to mount your brooms and hover. 1, 2, 3" Hooch said. All of them mounted their brooms and hovered in the air - all except Hermione Granger who fell unceremoniously off her broom. She did not fall hard enough or from high enough to break anything, but it was enough to give her a small bruise in her temple. Of course, to the bookworm Hermione Granger with the pain tolerance of a two year old, this bruise was probably the hardest injury she had ever received. She got up and huffed as Hooch told her to go sit by the tree and watch the flying lesson.

"Good, good," Hooch said. "Now we are going to start flying. Gently lean forward on your broom to go forward. Remember, to stop, just lean back," she said. "3, 2, 1, go."

Immediately, a chain reaction was set off. The two brutes, Crabbe and Goyle, flew straight at Harry, no doubt with orders from Malfoy to get revenge for the dueling incident on the previous day. However, they bumped into Weasley on their path, who careened straight at Tracey. Harry, seeing Crabbe and Goyle coming from afar, moved out of their path just in time for them to smash into Malfoy himself. But Tracey and Weasley were falling off their brooms, and seeing this, Harry raced down to save Tracey while Longbottom reached down to save Weasley. Harry was able to grab onto Tracey's shirt, and slow her fall, but he was not able to completely stop the fall, and they tumbled onto the ground. However, Longbottom made a perfect catch of Weasley, no doubt due to his Quidditch skills. And Malfoy just thudded to the ground. An irate Minerva McGonagall stomped onto the field.

"Crabbe. Goyle. What is the meaning of this? Neville, please come with me." she said, taking Longbottom out of the class. "There will be repercussions for this," she said to Crabbe and Goyle.

The rest of the students, now that there was no Crabbe, Goyle, Malfoy, or Longbottom, had a relatively peaceful flying experience. Harry found that he actually had a good natural talent for flying, and that if he had the experience that Longbottom had, he would probably be much better than Longbottom. Still, he had no interest in playing Quidditch, and seeing as that was pretty much the only use society had for flying, there was no need to practice it.

=x=x=x=x=x=

It was midnight, Saturday night, Sunday morning. Harry decided that the best time to experiment on the philosopher's stone would be midnight, for there would be no one to disturb him. Of course, he chose to experiment in the chamber, for only he could enter it, but still, at midnight, no one would be calling for him.

He took out the philosophers stone and decided on a few simple tests first. He needed to find out how to create the elixir of life, but first, he needed to test the fragility of the philosopher's stone. He threw it against one of the walls of the chamber, and it did not break. That was good enough for him.

However, he still needed to figure out how the stone worked. So, he decided to run another few tests. He tested it for its magical properties. It resisted every spell he could throw at it, meaning that it was fully magic resistant.

He decided that another test was in order. Basilisk venom would supposedly cut through any living thing other than basilisk hide, and many non-living things.. He extracted some venom from Regine and poured it over the stone. The stone fizzed for 30 seconds before neutralizing the venom, and destroying it. To test whether it was truly destroyed, Harry conjured a mouse and stuck it in the venom. The mouse survived.

This meant that there was really no point in taking the elixir of life. As long as one had the philosopher's stone in him, it would be able to protect him. The elixir really did little. So, with a small twinge of doubt, which Harry ruthlessly crushed, Harry charmed his body to not feel pain, vanished his useless appendix, vanished the skin in front of it, and replaced it with the Philosopher's stone. Harry could feel his magic merging with the stone's magic, and accepting the stone as its own. Suddenly, he felt an immense pain, and Harry was knocked unconscious.


	6. Chapter 6

**This is a shorter chapter, (sorry), and I might decide to add the next part to this chapter, or I might decide to just make it a new chapter. But I just felt like putting something out there.**

Chapter 6: Staff Meeting

Dumbledore, and the rest of the Hogwarts staff, were seated around a long conference table in the Hogwarts conference room for a weekly staff meeting. Dumbledore, of course, sat at the head of the table, with McGonagall and Snape on either side of him. Dumbledore liked to begin these meetings with broad general questions, prompting his teachers to tell more than they otherwise should have. Of course, he knew Quirrel was Voldemort, and did not need anything from him.

"So," Dumbledore began. "How is the new school year treating you so far?"

There was a murmur of casual smalltalk to Dumbledore's question when Minerva took the proverbial baton, and carried the conversation. "It's wonderful, Albus," McGonagall said. "Some of the students are extremely bright. I do believe that Ms. Granger is one of the smartest students in the year. And it goes without saying that Mr. Longbottom is in the top of my class. It was a very nice piece of enhancing magic that he did in the duel, too." she piped up. "Of course, both are my Gryffindors." At this Snape made a disparaging snort.

"Something troubling you, Severus," Dumbledore said.

"Only Minerva's blatant favoritism toward her house," Snape casually replied, taking a sip from his water. McGonagall, being the only Gryffindor in the room - other than Dumbledore of course- huffed in indignation.

None of the staff members noticed a small humanoid ear in the room connected to a string, which was connected to another ear that fourteen Gryffindor boys were eagerly listening to, as two others- a pair of freckled red-headed twins- were eagerly counting their money. It was a drizzly September Sunday morning, the staff meeting being held before breakfast at 8. The twins had amassed a small fortune off of all the listeners to the staff meetings over the years using an ingenious device they invented called Extendable Ears. They charged 10 sickles for admittance, and it had not leaked to any of the professors yet.

"Is this how they usually go," a small mousy second year Gryffindor asked. Snape and McGonagall were getting into yet another argument over which house was better: Gryffindor or Slytherin.

"More or less," Fred, the slightly older twin said.

"But once," George, the other twin, continued.

"McGonagall and Snape," Fred said.

"Got in," George added.

"A duel," Fred finished.

"McGonagall never stood a chance," George added. "Even though he's a slimy snake, Snape's pretty damn good."

Dumbledore quickly ended Snape and McGonagall's debate over which house was better with a loud clearing of his throat. Both professors looked guilty, a situation that Dumbledore was silently cheering for. It would be good for both professors to have undying respect for him, which they currently showed. Both made excellent servants for the light.

"Let's go back to you, Minerva," Dumbledore said. "So, you say that Mr. Longbottom and Ms. Granger are both excellent at transfiguration."

"Yes," McGonagall said. "Mr. Longbottom probably knows enough to be a fourth year."

"What about Mr. Potter," Dumbledore said, now curious. He had gotten the information of what Harry had said to Hagrid, and he wanted to find out how he was doing. "If I recall correctly, James Potter was a master at transfiguration. Has young Harry inherited the trait?"

"No," McGonagall huffed. Dumbledore, sensing that this was an issue, pressed on.

"How can you tell so early? He has been living with Muggles all this time, so he would not have the magical background that Mr. Longbottom would. I'm sure he is somewhat decent in transfiguration at the very least." Dumbledore said.

"Mr. Potter walked out of my class spouting some nonsense of electricity, physics, and pencils. He thought that his Muggle contraptions could compare to wizarding ones, and he thought that PAM was better than Hogwarts. What a lunatic," she snorted, as all of the teachers who had Harry in their classes nodded in agreement.

'Harry has managed to piss off every single one of his teachers' Dumbledore thought. 'I wonder how strong his magic is, though.' "But could he do the transfiguration," Dumbledore asked.

"No. He had one of his evil Slytherin friends do the transfiguration as he just sat back. I know because no light came out of his wand." McGonagall said.

"That's intriguing. No light came out of his wand?" Dumbledore said.

"Yes. He spouted some nonsense about physics, but everyone knows that a light comes out of your wand when you cast a spell. It was obviously fake." she said.

"Severus, do you have anything to add here? He is from your house, after all." Dumbledore said.

"Yes. The boy is a cheater, and is no better than his father. I'm sure that you are familiar with the Slytherin system," he said to Dumbledore.

"Of course," Dumbledore replied.

"Yes, well, Mr. Potter claimed that he used invisi-casting, or whatever he called it, to beat his opponent, Marcus Flint, in a duel. But, as Minerva said, everyone knows that light comes out of your wand when you cast a spell. He clearly had someone else incapitate Flint." Snape seethed.

"But no light hit Mr. Flint, correct," Dumbledore said.

"Correct," Severus said. "I think that one of his followers was hidden under a dis-illusionment charm, and hit Flint close-range. But, even I have to admit the brat knows a good warder."

"Why?" Dumbledore asked.

"If anyone other than him uses his wand, they get impaled by spikes. Even the oldest Weasley could never do that. He claimed that he did it by himself, but that is clearly impossible." Snape said.

"Interesting," Dumbledore said. "Does this have anything to do with why you were at the hospital on September 1st?"

"Yes," Snape gruffly said.

"Do any of you have anything to add about Mr. Potter?" Dumbledore asked.

"No, I think Severus and Minerva summed it up," Flitwick said, as the room agreed with him.

- Meanwhile, outside the room -

All of the students listening in on the conversation were paying rapt attention at this point, even Fred and George.

"Blimey, George," Fred said to George privately.

"You don't think-" George trailed off, pointing expectantly at the extendable ear.

"No, he can't be," Fred said. "He's a snake."

"But Gred, he did it." George said.

"Of course," Fred said as realization dawned upon him. "Our ultimate prank was to infiltrate the Slytherin dorms, and he did it on his first day here."

"He's an evil genius," George said.

"Yes. Yes he is." Fred agreed.

- Back inside the meeting hall -

"So," Dumbledore said. "What do you think about Mr. Longbottom?"

"Brilliant sums it up," McGonagall said. Snape made another disparaging snort.

"Is there a problem with my assessment?" she asked innocently.

"Yes." Snape replied.

"Do tell," McGonagall said expectantly.

"Longbottom is an idiot, and you, Dumbledore, are giving him too much latitude. He cannot get detention because he is the boy-who-lived? What rubbish." Snape said.

"And how would you like to remedy the situation, Severus? You know that he has too much to be doing to worry about simple detentions." Dumbledore said. "He still needs training if he is going to defeat Voldemort." At this, Quirrel coughed loudly.

"Then let me administer some form of punishment to him," Snape said. "All this special treatment will go to his head."

"Please, Severus," Dumbledore said. "We'll discuss this later, in private. Now, is there anyone else that you found noteworthy in this batch of first years?"

"Mr. Malfoy is at the top of the potions class," Snape said. McGonagall rolled her eyes.

"But he is at the bottom of my transfiguration class," she said.

"Yes, but he was able to cast a second year hex in that duel," Flitwick piped up. "He's not incompetent."

"True, true," Dumbledore said. "Well, if that is all, let's conclude this meeting. Now, as this is the first staff meeting of the year, I will set forth the rules and regulations of your positions." He started giving his yearly speech about how the teachers were supposed to look for trouble and report it to him as soon as possible. After about fifteen minutes of pure torture for any of the senior staff members, he concluded that too, and ended the meeting.


	7. Chapter 7

**Wow, um the last part of the chapter happened kind of spontaneously. I did not plan that out. Anyways, I decided to make the chapters shorter for now, into little mini-episodes, so that I could update more frequently. If you'd rather I made them longer and updated less frequently, please tell me so through a review, or a PM. :D**

**Chapter 7: A Twist**

"Haarry," a long drawn out voice said as Harry regained his bearings. It was dark, and he was on a cold stone floor.

"Haarry," the ghost-like voice spookily said again. It was as if he was in a horror movie. Harry mused that if there were any theme music, it would be blazing away to its climactic peak by now.

"Harry," the voice said quickly as the long snake turned to face Harry directly. It made a high pitched laughing sound as the lights flickered on, leaving Harry to stare back at his snake, Regine. She had a very cruel sense of humor, and was cackling madly at Harry's shocked face.

He recalled what had happened the previous night, and he looked down to see if it was successful. His skin had fused back together, and it seemed that he was fine. If immortality were this easy to achieve, then why wasn't everyone immortal.

He looked down at his watch, and saw that it was 8 a.m. He had been out for eight hours. He quickly dis-illusioned himself, and teleported back to his bed. He changed into his night-clothes so his roommates would think that he just woke up late. It was a Sunday, and on most Sundays the students slept in. Breakfast was at nine instead of eight, and students generally woke up at 8:30. He got out of "bed", and made his way down the stairs to the Slytherin common room.

"Hey, Harry," Malfoy said flanked by his two goons, Crabbe and Goyle.

"Yes," Harry responded.

"You are going to die tonight. You got Vincent and Gregory in detention with McGonagall. And you embarrassed me in front of the school." Malfoy spat out venomously at Harry.

"And who, pray tell, will kill me?" Harry asked.

"Why me, of course. I challenge you to a midnight duel. Tonight, in the trophy room. Vincent will be my second." Malfoy said.

"Why would I accept that?" Harry asked.

"So you admit you are a coward," Malfoy said.

"Whatever floats your boat, Malfoy," Harry replied. He honestly did not want to get into this.

"Ah, yes. But, I had professor Snape take 24 points off of me. Do you know what that means?" Malfoy asked.

"No," Harry said. He glanced at the point board. Oh crap.

"Yes. I am now one point lower than you, which means that by the Slytherin system, I can challenge you. I challenge you to a duel." Malfoy said.

"What are you?" Harry asked. "3? You are really going to lose your challenge for the year just because you think I wronged you, Crabbe, and Goyle."

"Big words from someone who's going to lose this midnight duel. Besides, I won't lose my challenge when I win." Malfoy taunted.

"No. You issued the challenge, so I get to pick the date and the time as long as it is within a one week period, or I forfeit the duel. I pick right now." he said. At his words, the Slytherin common room expanded to include the dueling region. "Well, Malfoy. You asked for this," he said as he walked over to his side of the dueling ring.

"Hey everyone," Crabbe yelled out in the boys dorms as people were waking up. "Malfoy's about to beat the shit out of Potter. Come watch."

Blaise and Theo had just walked into the common room, to see Harry and Malfoy standing on the dueling platform. They both raised an eyebrow, and Harry smirked back, bemused. They decided to watch the duel, so they took a seat in the common room. Crabbe's words were starting to attract an audience, and the upper-classmen were starting to roll out of their beds. Daphne and Tracey came down together a minute later, and sat down on the same couch as Blaise and Theo to watch the duel. A seventh year decided to mediate the duel.

"Wands at the ready. Begin in three, two, one, GO," the seventh year said.

Immediately, Malfoy started with a Stupefy, just as he had in the other duel. Harry cast a silent and invisible reflecting shield, and Malfoy's spell harmlessly bounced off. Of course, since his reflecting shield was low power, it probably could not reflect much. However, a Stupefy cast by a first year was easy enough to reflect. Malfoy cursed in indignation as his spell seemingly stopped in mid-air, and zoomed back at him. He quickly ducked underneath it, and paused to catch his breath. Harry sent an invisible Stupefy Malfoy's way, and grinned in satisfaction as the tell-tale thud of Malfoy's body dropping was heard. As he had expected, he had won.

"Winner, Potter," the seventh year said as the Slytherin house took this into account and took 200 points from Malfoy to give to Harry. Harry decided to stay with the Rank 2's, because he did not want to room with someone he did not know. However, Malfoy was now a rank 0. Although Snape would no doubt raise Malfoy back to his previous rank 2 status, his influence would be lost because of his failure to beat Harry in the duel.

"Now, if no one else wants to duel me, I would like to go get some breakfast," Harry said. The students who were ambling about mumbled in agreement as they went with Harry to the Great Hall.

After breakfast, Harry decided that he would have to do the Transfiguration homework at some point or another, so he decided to do it right then. He took out a notebook and a pencil, and wrote a few paragraphs on the prompt. He had recently measured that 400 words was about equal to "a foot of parchment", so he eye-balled about 400 words. Unfortunately, his laptop would not work at Hogwarts, or so they told him, so he did not bring it. This meant he had to write all of his homework assignments in pencil. He ripped off the piece of paper from his notebook and left it on his desk. He set out to do the rest of his week's homework that Sunday too, and finished at 2:30. He spent the rest of the day with Daphne, Tracey, Blaise and Theo, and slept early at 10:00.

=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=

**1990**

"Hey Sirius," James said after successfully pulling off another perfect prank and not getting caught.

"Yeah, what's up, James," Sirius replied.

"You know, I've been thinking. When I get Lily-Flower pregnant after some extremely hot-" James began to say.

"We get it, keep it PG," Remus interrupted.

"Fine. When me and Lily-flower have a baby, I am going to be responsible for providing for the child." James said.

"So," Sirius replied.

"So, I need to make sure my kid is the best prankster Hogwarts has ever seen. Well, except for us, of course," James continued. "Which means, we'll have to make changes to the map."

"Changes? What kind of changes?" Sirius asked.

"It's a simple spell that you would use on a portrait, but instead we can use it on the map. Basically, we can impart our personalities onto the map, which will allow us to indirectly help our kids, and any other pranksters along." James said.

"Sounds good," Sirius said after thinking it over. "When do you want to start?"

"I was thinking now," James said.

=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=

**2005**

"My god, Forge. You're right," Fred Weasley said as the Weasley twins stared at the Marauders Map. They saw the indistinguishable pair of footprints labeled Prongs Junior in the Slytherin dorms. Suddenly, the dot vanished. They searched and searched all over for it, and finally found it ... right behind them.

With a slow dawning suspicion, they turned around, only to find the Prongs Junior dot expanding, and becoming pieces of text that read "YOU DARE USE OUR MAP TO TRACK THE SON OF A MARAUDER". With that, the map turned blank, and the twins, despite doing everything they could, could not get it to turn back on.

"Freaking useless map," George said.

"Oh well. At least we confirmed the identity of Prongs Jr." Fred replied.

"Hey, look at the map," George choked out, shocked. The map was changing texts, now saying "SONS OF WEASLEY,. THIS IS PRONGS." "**PADFOOT**" written in a different handwriting. "_AND MOONY_" written in another handwriting. (**AN: **so if it isn't clear, Prongs is normal, Padfoot is bold, and Moony is italicized).

"**YOU HAVE ENDANGERED THE IDENTITY OF THE SON OF PRONGS. ENDANGERMENT OF THE SON OF A MARAUDER ACTIVATES OUR FAIL-SAFE IDENTITIES."** the map erased itself and displayed this text.

"YOU WILL REDEEM YOURSELF BY GIVING THE MAP TO HARRY POTTER. THAT IS THE MARAUDERS' REQUEST. AND WE ARE THE MARAUDERS. TO YOU THIS TASK WE DO BEQUEST." the map erased itself and displayed this message.

"**Aww, seriously, Prongs. You had to make it rhyme?**" was displayed right underneath the poem.

"_Yeah, the third and fourth lines just repeat the same information."_ displayed underneath Padfoot's words.

"Guys,"The text underneath changed to a different handwriting.

"**_SHUT UP__ TRAITOR"_ **was written by the three other hands, before the fourth handwriting was erased.

"DO YOU ACCEPT THIS DANGEROUS TASK. DO NOT TAKE IT LIGHTLY. IT WILL BE HARD AND TROUBLING. Umm, what rhymes with Lightly?"

**"Frightly? Mightily?"**

"Sure. PLEASE DO THIS TASK MIGHTILY."

_"Ugh. This is just getting worse and worse._"

"Yeah, well I'd like to see you come up with a better poem."

"_A two year old could come up with a better poem."_

"Yeah"

"_**SHUT UP**_** _TRAITOR" _**

"OK, SO DO THE TAsk,"

"**What's happening Prongs? Why the no caps?"**

"I THinK my vOIce is CraCKing."

"**Oh yeah, we made this when you were still going through puberty. LOL.**"

"_LOL?"_

"**I keep up with the times. I know what the Muggle kids are saying nowadays."**

"BaCk to tHE MAIN TOPIC. OH, MY VOICE IS BACK. ANYWAYS. SONS OF WEASLEY-"

"**Why do you always say sons of Weasley?" **

"Do you know anything about sounding like a powerful old wizard. You have to refer to people in weird ways."

"**Oh" **

"Now please, no more distractions. SONS OF WEASLEY. YOU MUST GIVE THE MAP TO HARRY POTTER. DO YOU UNDERSTAND." No response. "WEASLEYS. DAMN, WHY DIDN'T I ADD VISION TO THE MAP. WHY DID WE ONLY ADD HEARING?"

The two Weasleys were physically incapable of answering, or doing anything, for they were lying on the ground, fainted. The messages on the map remained visible, for them to see in the morning, when they finally woke up. They hurried to do the great Marauder's bidding, as the Marauders were like gods to them.


End file.
